Old friends

I saw the managing director of our department in the corridors when visiting another office today. Although i tried to be polite, as he began shooting the usual civil excitements at me,'aren't we doing well?' 'Is this a great time to be part of the new changes?' etc, he finished with, 'oh isn't it great we have a cool new team to keep kids out of care!?' I couldn't nod along as the power dynamic obliged me to. I strongly disagree. Im not sure you are supposed to disagree with the suits. I stated that the new team seemed to be remarkably similar to my old team, which he deleted 4 years ago. Unlistening he made a remark so smoothly it was obvious it was interchangeable with 'yeah....yeah...whatever'. And we parted ways.

I am still annoyed with the way they deleted my team, which was effective, homegrown and dynamic. Although personally i miss my job, and my team. I also miss how essential and raw it was. I believed in this team. I believe that it is integral to social work to try our hardest to keep families together. For children to grow up with their parents. For parents to experience their children in all their fullness.

I kept my own statistics and i kept 95% of my clients out of care. And this is what bugs me about social work and the critical difference between workers and management. Admittedly it is his job to structure a service that works and can be financially boyant, but i cant help but feel we live in different worlds, within the same borough.

I can tell you the names and stories of the 9 children on my caseload that went into care (E.F, P.F, M.M, E.D, E.D, G.P, M.H, E.P, T.W). I can give you the initials of almost 100 more that didn't, from memory. i shared these children's lives, i looked into their eyes when they were hurt and angry, i negotiated with their parents, i stood up for them at school meeting when the whole world made them feel wrong; for a short period of time i was more intimate with their families than their own grandma's. I cared. And i still care now.

I am shocked by how many i can name.
How many can Mr Suit name?
How many of their stories can he really understand without having sat in their houses week by week, shared a McDonalds with them discussing the latest school exclusion, or sat in the back of a police car with them pleading with them to make steps to move away from their pimp boyfriend. I honestly think if these suits had connected with just a small number of clients on this level they would never ever work the same way again, they too would hold these children's names in their hearts everyday.

Mind- Full-ness part 2

Lately my 'Crystal Maze' style games have taken on intensity, but also increased in fun. The latest three are:

You must stir 3 cooking pots of dinner to stop them burning, chop a vegetable to add to the pot, all whilst holding a baby who is picking parsley from the plant on the work surface whenever you pass and trying to shove it into your mouth. (Note I hate parsley but did quite well at this one)

You must hoover up 3 piles of ripped tea bags and tea from 3 different rooms whilst retrieving newly acquired tea bags from the baby who has been provided with them by her older sister. You must shout above the hoover, but not in an overtly negative way that this teabag distribution must stop seviral times. Every 10 seconds a small person will turn off the hoover and laugh. You have to stop hoovering and turn it back on each time it happens. Towards the end of your 5 minute time limit you need to stop the baby dropping her older sisters socks down the toilet whilst hoovering in another room. ( I failed this one, and suprised myself that I am now so unbothered by putting my hand into the toilet water! I've already completed the rational equation in my head innumerable times - flush a foreign object = pay plumber to fix and toilet flood in the mean time, just pick it back out).

You must dry and dress a wiggly baby whilst calling out every 5 seconds to a toddler still in the bath. You must check visually on the toddler every 3 minutes. You must get pj's for the big one once the little one is dressed, at the same time you must stop the little one from moisturising her body whilst already dressed. (I worked out a cheat for this one - don't leave the lid off of the moisturiser and on the side of the bath).

I like my life. It's fun.

Cookie helping

Responsibility, what's that? Responsibility, not quite yet.

I went to a meeting last night about a homeless project that we are helping with at our church. The simple formula is: over the cold winter months 7 churches each open their doors on a different night of the week to allow a specially selected group of rough sleepers a roof over their head for the night and a hot dinner and breakfast. I am co-organising this with another 'girl' from church.

Towards the end of the meeting the lady sitting next to me, lent in, in a confidence inspiring way, to tell me that i should mention to my manager my involvement in this project. She stated that then my manager would recognise that i am developing my leadership skills and might make me a manager one day. For some odd reason this blatant (yet accidental) undermining of my own existing abilities made me want to cry so as i focused on that i squeeked out a 'yes', before scuttling away.

There are many 'come backs' i thought of on my drive home, (yes i am old enough to drive) about my current responsibilities- kids, house, work etc. I also tried to reinforce that she was complementing me on how young (or stupid?) i look. But the reality of the matter is, most of the world thinks that promotion is the end goal at work.

Wrong.

This frustrates me so much. What is wrong with being happy in your job? Of accepting your pay and you role? I don't want to be a manager. I don't really want a different job, unless i get bored.

This kind of attitude is ridiculous. I'm not sure about other industries but in social work, getting good at it means promotion and moving away from social work into managing social workers. No more speaking with vulnerable people, no more leaving the office, no more social work, really.

It should not be assumed that the whole world should aspire to be something better than they are currently. Perhaps some people do, but a culture of this creates a vacum of people not feeling good enough when they are happy with who they are and what they do.

 Here is a picture i took of a dinosaur, whilst not wanting a promotion.

Here is me cutting a homemade cake whilst not wanting a promotion

 

 Wearing a baby and still not caring.

When i was playing with these Happyland people guess what? I didn't want a promotion.

No. I'm not a feminist.

Normally when someone says, 'I'm not being racist but,......' Someone is trying to interject a racist opinion into your life whilst maintaining you as a comrade.

I know that often when people first meet me they assume I have very feminist views. I can only attribute this to my hatred for pink (denying my genders first love), I am not hot on maintaining my armpit smoothness I tend to go for it-saw-a-razor-this-sometime-this-week-stuble and most annoyingly to some people, my disregard for dressing to impress (which includes make up). Scruffy is my style.

*[the bible says in 1 Peter 3:3-4 'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit', which I last piously thought of how free I was by only wearing make up for very special occasions and alternating between my micro wardrobe of jeans and vest tops, whilst dying my hair a more fetching blonde colour! Also I have not incidentally progressed from the not dressing nicely to actually working on having inner beauty. Anywho.]

Sorry. Side track.

So Starbucks has experienced her first discrimination. Misjustice done to her makes me mad inside knowing that her whole future awaits. Her first discriminatory comment was, 'girls cannot drive boats'; trivial but also somewhat significant. Following that a boy threw a straw away in disgust saying, 'It's a girls colour!'.  In my opinion it's pretty much irrelevant who these children's parents are as these are societal issues, did they pick this up at home or through nursery or TV? Why is a girls colour worse than a boys? Why does gender relate to driving? How am I going to explain to Starbucks why people are making assumptions about her despite not knowing her?

It's tempting to make an easy comment 'retaliating' and saying that boys colours are yucky or that women are actually better drivers as proven by car insurance records, etc, but this only perpetuates the point. 

I guess for me part of the solution is to work harder to make sure that I don't continue this trend. I'm careful to vary my labels of Starbucks and not call her pretty too often, but do I try as hard with the boys and expect them to cry less?

Sky garden review

If you go to the sky garden on top of the walkie talkie, don't expect it to look like a garden. It looks disproportionately like.... sky. I was really disappointed with my day of fun with my girls. I'd heard of long ago that when they were building the place they had to provide public access to the roof garden. It looks like token effort has been put in to make it a nice environment. Its more like a Debenhams cafe in an atrium with a balcony of great views of London.

The fern bed looks bigger than it is. Think shopping centre with an echo but no shops.

The views, which had to contend with the cafe scene.

 It was more fun running around on the paving outside the tower of London.

mindfulness

Mindfulness is very popular at the moment. Being in the moment, enjoying things for what they are. ok. Someone once gave me a chocolate bar mindfulness podcast, it took it too far. I agree with enjoying chocolate, but not the feel of the wrapper, the thoughts of how i might eat it bite for bite. Nah, too much. Eat and enjoy the taste; preferably with a cup of tea.

So my take on mindfulness is to create mini crystal maze type games throughout the day. If there is something mundane to do, make it a 2.5 minute instant lock in! My daily game at the moment is trying to unchain my bike (two locks) and get it out of my garage before the roller door comes back down. Its not easy. One fumble and you lose. lately i've been trying to complete it with Cookie in a carrier on my back. She adds sound effects.

Cookies birthday!

Unbelievably Cookie is now 1. 

More shocking than that she is, in her mothers biased opinion, unbelievably clever. She is not only walking but carrying chairs around to rearrange the furniture. She climbs ladders and goes down slides by herself, she takes thing to the correct room if you ask her to, she steals your breakfast when you are not looking, and she signs please and thank you.

I cannot get over the delight of having two such very different girls who offer such different things to our little family/team. Cookie, you are funny, and boisterous and loud and affectionate and we love you!

 Since she likes eating yellow crayons so much i made some edible chocolate ones.

 Positively apprehensive about turning one. 

studious. Next week she will be equally dividing food.

Returning to work as I know it.

I'm back! Despite being suprisingly sad about leaving baby Cookie (who couldn't care less) I have spent three days at a desk (not mine. I am still awaiting a desk, phone and mobile?) Where u can drink hot tea without someone crying at my feet, water without hands diving in it, and adult conversation without my torrets of instructions disrupting the flow!

All in all I have enjoyed it. As a treat I got to choose my clients, so I chose the two who live closest to Starbucks'. Fact. And on my first day this was my lunch (no pretending to be healthy for the kids ! Yippee!) 

We're coming home. Tell the world.

We are on our way home. Like always it's bittersweet. Travelling with the kids has been great, not as great as travelling in our 20 ' s but great.

I'm looking forward to sleeping in my bed, not having for forage for every meal, and sharing a room with a 3 year old who seems to dedicate her last few hours of the day to only doing things which eventually cause me to shout at her. Oh and it would be ever so nice to have a glass of ice water for more than a second before a small hand darts into it in tanto giving it a nice pavement tint.

Here are my pro's and con's of travelling with two kids aged 3 and 0.

Downfalls:

Even less privacy than at home (I didn't think this was possible)

Being hot, tired and lost whilst dealing with smaller versions of yourselves who are also hot, tired and want to know 'why?' about everything.

Pavement water

Only having one pushchair and two nappers. Resulting in many a standing nap where the child asleep in the carrier will not allow you to sit down.

No bars, evening experiences or much that doesn't interest kids.

Small children don't always enjoy what you want to see, so you have a choice to fight them or leave.

Positives:

Soooo many more locals speak to you and give you insight into how they live 

Perfect moments when young carefree innocence, beautiful scenery and family connectivity collide

Free things people give you (mostly food) because your kids are cute

Not feeling obliged to do all the standard landmarks as they are actually boring some of them

Living more like a local. Renting flats, using the laundrettes etc. My Spanish was eventually perfected in Mexico (I quote 'tengo [gesture to washing pile] ayuda por favour'.) Outstanding.  

Back in New York

We are back in New York for our final week of travelling. The desire to return home has now passed and Xss and I have had some great conversations about where we can go next rather than flying home (mostly Canada?) and then we look at each other repeating 'shall we?' Over and again trying to establish the seriousness of the other. However, life will still be waiting for us just one week later;we don't have enough plans in place to stay away of a long time. Next time I think we might airbnb our place to help support us.

I asked Starbucks if she was looking forward to going home and she pulled a silly sad face (but it's very hard to know if we might have conditioned is response). I asked her what she wanted to do in our last few days travelling to which she replied 'go to the park and go to Starbucks'. You can take the 3 year old out of London, but she is still 3.

Its been brilliant travelling and now I feel like we are warmed up and could take these two anywhere we could continue on for quite a while I think  (except for lack of money). We have pretty much everything we need and it's working out well. I wouldn't like to go somewhere hotter than Mexico, but I'd happily take my kids to Thailand for a few weeks now.  Yippee. When we get home we will begin saving again but the next, bigger, trip will be harder to plan as we will have to take Starbucks out of school and risk losing her place. 

Better trolleys! What!?!

Home

No Internet access for a week as I went 'home'. It was glorious. It was normal. It smelt like home, it had some of the people I am most comfortable with there. We had a blast; doing our washing, eating breakfast, playing with chalks. 

I once lived in this house as an exchange student. I didn't learn a new language (well apart from words like fawcet) but i did learn what it was like to be loved, and to be listened to. Perhaps this family and their life is my soft spot but they changed my life forever. 

Best Trolley Ever

Best supermarket trolley ever? Found in Fort Lauderdale. Even shopping days are fun!

Underground rivers

Today, while the kds napped I did something great. I swam through an underground river. Granted every tourist to Cancun does, AND I paid $100 for the privilege but I did it without my kids and had a glancing half hour of bliss!

The water was clear, and cool. The right sort of cool that once swimming takes away the heat from your body. The route starts off in a cenote  (A sink hole full of water) and meanders through caves (some with accompanying bats hanging from the roof), raveens (not sure if this is the word, but it was a river with high sides going way above you at times) and lastly through mangroves (cleaner than it sounds). Basically it was like swimming through jurassic park.

And did I mention I WAS ALONE! Half an hour of being with myself.

It was nowhere near as busy as this when I went, probably a tenth if the people.

I'm not in these photos as I was busy enjoying the experience. Un fact other than the blog photos there aren't many photos of our travels at all. 

The atmosphere at Tulum

The attraction I most wanted to see when visiting Mexico was some ancient May an ruins. I didn't care which, as long as I could pretend to be in an Indiana Jones movie, imagining feather bestowed tanned natives worshiping the sun rising in perfect precision whilst offering young human sacrifices I'd be happy (racist? Me?). 

So we set off on a day trip to Tulum. It wasn't quite the place I thought it might be. Well it could have been, I'm not sure. This is how the day went (all conducted in 37 degree heat and no shade):

'We are going to follow this path to an old old house where local Mexicans used to live a long time ago....'

'Can I have this lolly pop?'

'No you just had one'

'But can I please have this lolly pop'

'No you've just had one perhaps you could have it later'

'When later?'

'Just later'

'But when mummy?'

'I don't know. Around 3ish?'

'Why?'

'I don't know. You just can't have it now'

[A sound occurs which Starbucks has perfected into the loudest most annoying fake crying sound ever. With lots of tears]

'You definitely won't get it if you cry like that'

[More of the above]

'Why are you crying?'

'Because......you.....said.....I. .can't. ...have....A. ...lolly...pop'

'I didn't. I said - oh look how thick they made these old walls- you can't have another one now'

'But I want one'
[Crying, sobbing, the odd kick in the air for dramatic measure]

'Right I'm not going to talk to you if you continue like this'.

'Daddy. I want a lolly pop..'

You get the idea. It continues the whole of the visit, over not wanting to walk or go in the pushchair, over being asked to get out while the pushchair is carried down a flight of steps, of not being allowed
a lolly pop, of not wanting the orange juice she was bought as a 'reward'...

In all honestly this isn't even a pucture of Tulum. There are no pictures of Tulum. This is another ruin from another park. 

I can't give you an opinion on visiting Tulum, apart from to say on my research on Wiki once home again, it was lived in until at least 1200's and was not mysteriously abandoned as I hoped but sensibly left as the town declined. I don't think they offered human sacrifices  (Thanks Indie), but they did dress different to us, probably due to the heat and a recognition, before  us, that everyone looks good in feathers.

Mexican kindness

This is a sign in the carpark near the door to a Mexican supermarket. A space reserved for pregnant women. How nice.

Mexico is hot.

Is there a word for that moment when you are so bothered by an itch or being too hot, or uncomfortable that you feel like the appropriate answer to any question asked of you is, 'FUCK OFF'.  As if an imaginary audience has appeared and you suddenly find yourself on a quiz show with no ability to even understand the question let alone guess a response. Inevitably at moments like this I look down and there is my 3 year old, undoubtably asking me why that mans t-shirt is black? Oblivious to the heat, the fact I am balancing an umbrella in one had and an asleep babies head in the other. Sweat gluing us together where we are forced together by the baby carrier, tired from the same baby manipulating the whole world by a series of small events to feel that it's reasonable to offer only two options to me at 6am every morning, feed me or have me cry so loud I wake everyone else up for the day then refusing to go back to sleep. The three year old is unaware of how much further it is to walk, and how irrelevant it is that there are taxis because babies wake up in taxis and will then not go back to sleep, and really need some down time over nap time.

Why is heat so unbearable? We have arrived in Mexico, and although I through Florida had set us up for being used to the heat, I was wrong. This morning when I got up the thermometer in the bathroom said it was 29 at 7am. We don't seem to be adapting either, today is day 3 and I was still dripping wet by the time I unlocked the gate one flight down from our apartment, already ready to scream at anyone wanting my concentration. It's a possibility, perhaps one of hue he liberating things about travelling, we could always move on early.

I think I am going through my first dip in this travelling episode. The time when I ask myself what is the point of travelling? I get fed up of endlessly spending money without earning any, I miss contributing meaningfully to anything, and I miss the ease of home (ie knowing where to buy food, what items are in the supermarket, and being able to prepare a meal without spending at least half the time looking for implements or trying to work out how to turn on the cooker). But what a thing to wine about. I even honestly feel like I miss the great british weather! Oh how I will lament this just a few months from now.

Also because it is so hot the kids are not having a great time. Although they are not complaining about it too much, it's hard to play outside when there is so little shade and all the floors are burning hot. One thing we have learnt is how hard work it is to take a pre walking baby away to unknown places. She continually has dusty knees and shins and has eaten no end of 'things' off the floors because we simply cannot keep her contained in her pushchair all day.

I'm sorry I am moaning, this is a trip of a life time. It's easy to lose focus on what I am doing right now as I am not entirely sure what I am doing, but as the famous Allen Saunders says (or has at least copyrighted),

'Life is what happens while we are making plans'.

I need to spend more time focusing on the little things, the first rough and tumble fight that Cookie and Starbucks had yesterday, the kisses that Starbucks gave me son my hand as we walked to dinner this evening, the laughter in Xss's eyes when he eventually found his pjs he had been looking for, on me. It'll be over too soon and we will all be split up again going to work and child care. So tomorrow I am making Jo plans but to try and enjoy them. If only it weren't so damn hot.

Moving on to Mexico.

Kids are good at travelling. They just take each minute and hour for what it is. I could learn from that. Here they are enjoying looking for our bags to come off the plane. I was just thinking about the rest of the journey ahead.

T-Rex in Florida

There's been a gap in blogging as we were staying in florida with my in laws and it felt rude to write in the evening rather than chat to them. I realised the other day that I don't blog in front of my children as I feel like that's rude/anti social but I do sometimes read a book when I get a chance, so what's that saying. I'm going to try to blog when they are awake sometime as it's good for them to witness me perusing something I enjoy.  That being said, if Starbucks or Xss ignored me I'd much prefer It were a good book and not a horrible, glancing media product.

The culinary highlight, well scenic highlight, was a meal at the t - Rex restaurant full of moving roaring dinosaurs. There was also a 45 minute wait for a table which we filled with playing in their sandpit which had bones buried in it! Archeology for beginners :)

Shirt dress

Please be a punk. Please be a punk.

With limited resources comes great creativity. Here is Starbucks wearing my tshirt as a dress. She even got some compliments from people who didn't know. New line of work perhaps?

Disneyland!

Parade joy!

I didn't think my kids would like disneyland; they are too young, it's too hot, too many crowds, long queues and the food would be crap. Turns out that that's why I don't like disneyland, both girls loved it. Absolutely. And there are few things in life that warm your heart quicker than seeing your child truly happy. Starbucks loved the rides (how are those little cars that pulsate to a cheesy tune outside the supermarket ever going to be fun again?) and seeing her favourite disney characters in the parade. She has only watched Frozen, Tangled and Elf (the first and last on an alternating daily basis) but luckily she spotted rapunzel and Anna & Elsa.

Cookie watches no films, for Cookie cannot sit still even through a 10 minute dinner (was it all those mocha cookie crumble frapacinno's I had whilst pregnant with her?). I was surprised that she was allowed on so many rides providing she sit on a lap (do some babies just sit on laps at 10 months and not spend their entire existence trying to wriggle down to the floor?!) What she really loved was the little mermaid ride, loads of bright colours and black lights accompanied by cheerful music. She was

delighted and jumped up and down the entire time.

I would definitely go again. It would be nice to go with older children who could recognise and enjoy the numerous small details put into the park (a toilet block decorated to look like the village in Tangled, eating establishments that not only are in theme with the films but serve the appropriate food types too (bought from people dressed up like the corresponding townsfolk). Trees carved in to shapes of characters.

The crowds in the evening. No space left to walk!


Anna waved at Starbucks! (This is my life. I am delighted that someone dressed up like a cartoon character waved at my child).

Ice ice baby

I had another one so they could be friends. My dreams are coming true. Usually only for ten minutes a day, but that's ten minutes less that I have to play with them (although secretly I enjoy most games we play), and allows me time to get my camera.

Beware of the adults in church!

Were in Orlando, ready for THE Disneyland experience later in the week. (Will it be quieter on a weekday?) today we went to church.

Xss and I have been discussing the way that Americans socialise differently to us: chattier to strangers, really put themselves out for their friends/others,

We have mooted the possibility that this is due to such early socialisation in daycare since their parents have such short maternity/paternity leave. This seemed even more prevelant today when we took Starbucks along to Sunday school. She was in the lowest 'class' of 0-4 year olds, and they really tried to get us to leave her there alone. Starbucks, in my opinion, is not shy or unconfident. She will often speak, unprovoked, to adults as if they were her peers, or sometimes her minions. but I also believe that she is appropriately cautious of unknown adults if she is not with me. I know some kids who would thrive in a new environment like this whilst left alone, she is not one of them. However, the attitude of the workers there was nothing short of curt and downright stubborn is trying to deter me or Xss from staying with her. (We won).

As I sat in the service trying to work this all out I began to wonder if our behaviour, for the Americans, was very odd. If  mothers are forced to return to work so quickly then their children are likely being left with strangers from a few weeks old. For me to be concerned about ,my 3 year old being with strangers perhaps seemed like I was ridiculously babying her. But I've only left her with a couple of friends and family, and at one nursery after I'd spent a week there with her too. So it's possible that a section of Americans are used to trusting adults they don't know from a young age, and then seeing everyone as a potential friend, rather than A-threat-until-proved-otherwise as we british do. I'm not sure what is healthier, or how Americans with stay at home moms fit in, perhaps it's nothing to do with nursery at all?

Any Americans/others want to comment? Do you think you are friendlier? If so why? (You won't get any email spam or anything for commenting on blogger)

The everglades date stamp

Xss has planned to take Starbucks to the Everglades national park to look for alligators for a long time. We've discussed it with her a lot. Although you know kids always seem to love and remember the bits of the trip you did not plan, I never thought that the highlight of seeing real 'gators in the wild would be using the gift shop ladies date stamp. Here she is showing her work off proudly. 

People charmer cookie

This baby has gotten SO much attention since she left home it's unbelievable. She can't enter a shop, a plane, a supermarket without almost every single person who passes her trying to get her attention and fawning over her. Here she is charming the check in lady at the airport whilst trying out the luggage scale. Sometimes it's tough on Starbucks because nobody seems to notice her. However, even though Starbucks doesn't get many comments made about her at all she did get a saucer of glacé cherries from the bar man the other day, and a packet of chex mix from the air hostess, so she's obviously saying the right things to the right people.

This is why we came travelling

Aruba, we won't be back.

 

Last few photos of Aruba. It was a nice little island to visit, but I wouldn't go back. The 'rich culture' of the Caribbean was not obvious (is this the most insulting thing to say about a country? Am I turning into a colonialist?) The beaches were great but there really is nothing to do on a cloudy day. Well actually now we have kids clouds are perfect for beach days. The map showed a couple of old one room chapels but nothing to hold anyone's attention for long. I felt like they needed to take some tips from America. Here are some of my favourite American attractions:

- big Sue the largest Holstein cow (a 34 ft model cow in a field in North dakota)

- the first place the British stepped foot on the land (literally the rock their feet touched. Even if this is not dubiously found until 60 years after the event)

- Wall Drug Store. A chemists in a place called wall. It was advertised for over 100 miles on the road. To be fair it did have a model dinosaur in the parking lot

- the corn palace. A building which has a small amount of corn pinned up on it, not a palace made out of corn which people might wrongly assume.

- a house where a criminal grew up (There are numerous but I've seen Jesse James' house first hand)

- crazy horse statue. Again not quite what you think. Pay your entrance fee and turn the kink in the road only to see that it's not finished. In Fact It still looks very much like a cliff face and not at all like a Nobel Indian pointing to the land where his kin lie dead.

Ready for a seafood dinner :)

Ice cream for breakfast. We've really settled into this travelling thing!

Chilling in Aruba

We are really enjoying Aruba.  Firstly the weather and beaches are uncertain, but also because it is a little bit more like our old (pre children) style  travelling. Challenges are being overcome and it's that familiar pride of having arrived in a new town with no map (there is a scarcity of maps and guides to Aruba? ), no experience of how to get around, where to eat, or more importantly where to go to entertain the children. I think perhaps this is a large part of what travelling is to me; rising to the challenge of living in an unknown place.

Aruba is a really hard place to try to understand. It is impossible to identify a local by skin colour, first language or anything else so it's tough to even work out who you should be blending in with. Since it is a Dutch territory the Dutch come and go as do the Aruban's. There is a large American influence here, several chains like dunkin donuts, Wendy's and burger king. I don't care for the American tourists here, who much like the British and Australian tourists elsewhere, seem to want the weather but nothing else of the country. I didn't manage to get a photo today but an American zoomed past us today on a noisy jet ski. It sent a torent of waves and noise over us and the locals all enjoin the beach but he didn't notice as he was having fun. This seems the opitamy of irresponsible travel, trashing another's culture for your own quick kicks. But isn't this what I myself as doing too? Speaking only English, enjoying my starbucks and spending my American dollars enjoying a picturesque beach? Can travelling ever not be harmful to the host culture?

This is how Cookie naps for now.

What do 3 years olds think when having out to a sea they can't quite understand?

Safety first.