My dream job is.......

I went out for lunch with Rowl today (and last week we went to a quiz and a kickboxing class- does that mean we are officially friends rather than colleagues now?) and had a great conversation about the radically different worlds where people who don't work with Peckham teenagers exist. Her sister works in cosmetics and must have lovely conversations about 'this seasons lipsticks'. It sounds ideal to be there for a while, but i know i would miss the kids after any period of time.

So we got onto our own ideal jobs. And i remembered i found mine in America!! In the shop called American Girl, you can buy 2ft dolls who look like any type of American girl you can imagine. THEN you can bring them into the shop again to get their ears pierced, or their hair done! it costs $30. This is my idea job. Sitting a inanimate object into a little chair (complete with footrest and overhead mirror) and doing its hair into simple styles! Below is a picture of 'the girls' waiting for their hair appointment:
Rowl then found the job description of my ideal job!! here!

The Joys of Football.

Xss went to the football last night, Norwich verses Swindon with his father as they are both big fans. Making me a football widow. Not that i really mind. Especially because last night i had such a great time.

I made it home from work on time, and managed to see the whole of Neighbours (yes, it is the greatest show in the world) AND whom should be on it, not only Dr. Karl being great (the guy who plays him is a legend!) but Lily Allen too. I love neighbours for all its little quirks. My favourite is when there occurs a duplication of characters (they have a set 20 or so, ie. the funny guy, the simple comedy tradesman etc), and they point it out. When Joe Mangel met Joe Scully it was brilliant!

Anyways, so i watched Neighbours and did some washing before going out to a Kick boxing class. Now i have not been kickboxing for over 8 years, but it felt the same as before. My technique has not all gone, i can still train hard and i am encouraged to go again, regularly. It was also accompanied by the joy of overcoming an obstacle as it was a real challenge for me, even with my Colleague Rowl for company, to enter a strange gym, with lots of sweaty strange men and train. But we did it, we didn't stand out that much and everyone was really nice- and no, not just because we were hopeless girls! It made me realise how often in my line of work i encourage socially disadvantaged people to go along to something new, not recognising how hard this actually is.

Well, after showering at home i cooked a nice, healthy meal, whilst Ironing Xss's shirts, then got into a lovely soft bed, with my favourite American chocolate bar (imported by myself), Butterfinger, and watched a ridiculously girly movie with a hot water bottle at my feet. It was wonderful. We are so lucky to be able to surround ourselves with all our favourite smells, sounds, sights and feelings. I should co-ordinate these more often.

I went off to sleep feeling like an effective wife, an impowered female, and highly invested in.

The Zoo

Here are some Amish people looking out from their enclosure in the St. Louis Zoo. They seem pretty happy though.

Here are some things you might not know about the Amish:

• Mustaches are forbidden (men and women).
• Amish women are not permitted to wear patterned clothing
• Belts are forbidden, as are sweaters, neckties and gloves.
• Most Amish consider posing for photographs to be an unacceptable act of pride and do not allow pictures of themselves (so really they wanted me to take this, but couldn't ask)
• Amish are averse to any technology which they feel weakens the family structure

All found on pittsburgh.about.com/ and sells to me an idyllic style of life. It would be great to speak openly with some about their life. This brilliant quote from a tourist guide for Americans is great:

"While you talk and mingle with the Amish, please remember that they are not actors or spectacles, but ordinary people who choose a different way of life."

The Opposite of Love is Fear

Today i saw two boys fighting on the street. (Peckahm is known for a certain level of violence and it would not have been a suprise if either kid had of brought out a knife.) Well fighting isn't exactly accurate as one was clinging to a tree and staring at the ground as the other (who had a choke hold on his shirt collar was jerking him savagely away and smacked him around the face. I knew i could not walk past and live with it, so i did the only thing i knew how to. I stopped.

I wasn't sure what to do, and i couldn't decide whether to challenge the aggressor, or ask the 'victim' if he needed my help. So i just stopped in an obvious way and looked at them. They noticed and commented on me being there, but after five minutes, when they realised i wasnt leaving, the aggressor loosened his grip and walked off. I'm not naive and i know that they may well fight again later that night, but i am happy to know that the kid holding onto the tree had a chance to walk away if he wanted.

I hadn't realised that i was scared by the aggression i saw but as i walked away the all too familiar signals of excess adrenaline kicked in and i did my best not to fall to pieces. The shaking, the desire to cry, the need to sit down, shortness of breath, everything ebing that bit brighter that bit more intense, combined with a dullness. It reminded me of my old job and the number of times i felt like this on shift and dealt with it, often by making a cup of tea, humming and pretending all was fine. (Never show your fear to the kids). The point is i realised during my dazed walk as i continued to the bus stop, hate is a bad thing, but fear is worse. I hated being scared and would have done anything to stop it. Fear has no solution, makes you act blindly and the outcome is not positive. Its a negative, built on a negative.

Two kids fighting over hate, is a totally different fight to two kids fighting because they feel dis-empowered, scared, that there is no future, no place for them, no-one to care and they are scared. I know Xss would be cross if he knew i got involved, but if we all continue to let the kids do whatever they like, how on earth will they learn that what they are doing is wrong?

The man who was stabbed in Deptford the other night, trying to stop youths fighting . What an admirable way to go, putting your life on the line for what you believe (they might not even be worthy of it), and trying to fight fear with love. I hope people don't feel too sad/bad for him, but see it a a positive life affirming thing he has done. He was a truly great man, and I'd be happy and proud to die for what i believe in.

Things i LOVE about Teenagers

I love my job, and the main reason for that is i regularly get to hangout with teenagers. Here are some reasons they are great:

1) At 14 they have so much more belief in their relationships and a huge degree of resilience in them (oh yeah he cheated on me, but that was last week). They believe that they will be with their boyfriend forever (well at least until they are 30), and cannot be convinced otherwise. THEY WILL MARRY THEM OK. He got the ring from Argos last week.

2) The ultimate goal in life is 'To be cool'. This is taken to all extremes and can ironically result in them looking like a complete fool by refusing to look uncool. Stupid radical clothes, outrageous make-up and taking political stances on things no-one cares about is actually cool.

3) They have no shame in trying to get away with anything. Even if they make a gain, they ruthlessly continue to see what else they might be able to get rather than marvel in their previous success. If you don't try it, you definitely wont get it.

4) They don't feel the need to go home, ever. If you go out and get wet, the default of an adult is to go home and change, if you are tired, to go home and sleep. Teenagers just seem to solve the immediate problem as soon as possible. You are wet? use a towel or handryer, or wear whatever other clothes are around and move on. You are tired? Just sleep wherever you are!

5) They believe that true love can be demonstrated by wearing matching clothes. I saw matching his and her coats last week!

6) They haven't been socially conditioned like adults to sit and move in certain ways. Ask a teenager to sit down, and they do it there and then, no squaring up to the chair and neatly sitting. Why use all that effort? If the shortest way somewhere is over two fences, bring on the fences!

7) Their natural reaction is to smile when caught out or in the wrong.

8) They actually DO need more sleep than adults. How great to sleep all day, and to have an excuse

9) If you are a teenage boy, and you fancy a teenage girl then you should bully them as much as possible; As somehow this will result in you getting the girl!!

10) They have their own language which changes with generations specifically so that adults always think teenagers sound ridiculous.

Wag1, you peng thing: Hi,You are attractive

Stop vexing me butters: Stop stressing me out you unattractive person.

I'm going to link LDog, might kick it in Burgess Park: I'm going to meet Peter, we might spend sometime in Burgess Park.

Uh fanks, sket: oh, thank you. You sexually promiscuous person.

Sick, lets roll : Great, lets go.

11) You can say 'blood' or 'bro' on the end of sentences and expect people not to laugh at you

12) Groups of teenagers hanging around with each other has always caused anxiety in adults, and since they all look the same it is impossible to determine what they might be capable of. Will they all run after me and push me or are they simply discussing Dizzy Rascal in upper class accents?

13) They can effectively completely disown their own actions with the phrase, 'Well, i must have.....' As if someone else has made them do it and they cant really remember.

If any of my kids are reading this- I love you guys, keep up the good work! You rock! (that's old person for you are cool).