October Womenhood - Gentleness

My principle aim when i went on maternity leave was to spend some time each week with other Christian women learning from the bible. I began looking when i was pregnant and failed at the first hurdle when the leader from a very academic church in the city, politely met me for coffee (I paid) in a posh cafe, and went on to say i was not welcome to attend her group until i was well established at their church. hmph. i'm not moving churches.

My quest improved and i attended several different groups, until eventually Lorax and I started our own group at our church. This was brilliant and i learnt a lot from her, our babies seemed to become friends, as much as a baby can like anyone else who doesn't recognise their ultimate authority. Lorax left last week :( but before she went she gave me a book. 'A Year of Biblical Womanhood' by Rachel Held Evans. I am so excited to read it. In this book Rachel details her attempts to live a year according to biblical rules about being a women. What a challenge, and what is the point?

 Starbucks struggling to engage with Hope who would not recognise her authority on what part of the blanket to sit on.

It seems ridiculous to obey some parts of the bible, but not the bits you don't want to. So I'm encouraged to think about rising to the challenge. She tried to obey some commandments for the whole year, but others she just did for a month (thank God, one of the rules is living in a tent when you have your period) The first month she focused on 'Gentleness'. In specific, a good wife should:

Cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Immediately challenging. Does kick boxing, arguing for the oppressed and shouting along to rock music constitute a 'gentle and quiet spirit?' Are all these behaviours inconsistent with being a Christian? God made us unique. I used to worry that I shouldn't kickbox, that perhaps it wasn't right to a) hit people in the face (even with gloves on) or b) practice the best ways to hurt people quickest on a weekly basis. But for numerous reasons I think God wants me to kickbox. what a statement!

However, i do believe that it is ever so powerful and self-fulfilling to be at one with yourself. To be quiet inside your soul. I think this comes from knowing who you are and resting assured in that. Not constantly spending your life defining yourself by comparing yourself to other people, or doing things that prove your worth. I think this is most peoples biggest problem (mine included- although it's easier to analyse others). The sexiest person i know sleeps with lots of boys to prove that she is sexy, when she could just walk outside with unbrushed hair in tracksuit bottoms and her sexiness would show through.

So i think there is truth and meaning in this verse, but i'm not convinced that it means that all women should not shout. I think it means all women should believe in themselves and their unique value. There are some great role models of women in the bible, and they did not sit around knitting and making dinner.

19/52 Happy?  Knowing who i am. Today i drove home from Kickboxing in a tiny yellow car, singing along to Guns 'n' Roses (Use your illusion 2) really loud. I don't care if all the business people in suits saw me and thought i haven't made it in this world as i wasn't driving an Audi TT and listening to Noah and the Whale. If i could, i wouldn't. This is who i am. Also i like pigeons and wearing shoes with big tongues! This is my quiet spirit.

This tongues are not big enough, but i had to compromise as we were travelling.

The Joys of Football.

Xss went to the football last night, Norwich verses Swindon with his father as they are both big fans. Making me a football widow. Not that i really mind. Especially because last night i had such a great time.

I made it home from work on time, and managed to see the whole of Neighbours (yes, it is the greatest show in the world) AND whom should be on it, not only Dr. Karl being great (the guy who plays him is a legend!) but Lily Allen too. I love neighbours for all its little quirks. My favourite is when there occurs a duplication of characters (they have a set 20 or so, ie. the funny guy, the simple comedy tradesman etc), and they point it out. When Joe Mangel met Joe Scully it was brilliant!

Anyways, so i watched Neighbours and did some washing before going out to a Kick boxing class. Now i have not been kickboxing for over 8 years, but it felt the same as before. My technique has not all gone, i can still train hard and i am encouraged to go again, regularly. It was also accompanied by the joy of overcoming an obstacle as it was a real challenge for me, even with my Colleague Rowl for company, to enter a strange gym, with lots of sweaty strange men and train. But we did it, we didn't stand out that much and everyone was really nice- and no, not just because we were hopeless girls! It made me realise how often in my line of work i encourage socially disadvantaged people to go along to something new, not recognising how hard this actually is.

Well, after showering at home i cooked a nice, healthy meal, whilst Ironing Xss's shirts, then got into a lovely soft bed, with my favourite American chocolate bar (imported by myself), Butterfinger, and watched a ridiculously girly movie with a hot water bottle at my feet. It was wonderful. We are so lucky to be able to surround ourselves with all our favourite smells, sounds, sights and feelings. I should co-ordinate these more often.

I went off to sleep feeling like an effective wife, an impowered female, and highly invested in.