I love Peckham

Reason #142: When it rains African ladies go out wearing their shower caps. In the event of a precipitation emergency they will neatly tie a Tesco's carrier bag around their head like a bandanna if their shower cap is at home.

Cultures greatest passtime....

I am becoming increasingly aware that a growing number of articles are occuring in the press around the over sexualisation of children, actually that's wrong, the sexualisation of children full-stop. I'm sure its a hate of many, but obviously not enough else it wouldn't be happening. Well, post riot time when people are beginning to review and cross examine the problems endemic within society, i hope that this is one that comes under scrutiny.

For me this issue with making children sexualised, starts with making children adult. Often accompanied by the usual cries of, 'oh its harmless'. The daily mail ran an article on a french company which is making lingerie for children aged 4 and upwards. Interestingly some of the advertising photos which were in the article were already removed (one particular one of a girl in knickers and a shirt tied up to reveal her stomach lounging backwards on a chair pushing the focus on to areas that are not even developed yet on little girls): Suggesting to me that it is against our laws to put that photo up on the web, because some others less offensive remain.

The company has named/shamed itself as, 'Jours Apres Lunes', and written a defense which composes arguing that little girls like to dress up like mummy. However, children like to do many things which are not good for them, it doesn't make it right. But why are some mothers seemingly encouraging this one? Seems to me that many parents want their children to grow up and be like them for several reasons, I'd guess at 1) wanting to re-live their childhood again through their daughters, 2) finding that girls copying them validates themselves and boosts their self esteem, or 3) really wanting their children to grow up as soon as possible.

I'm not a parent so i cant really condemn these parents as much as I'd like as i haven't been there, but then these riots got me thinking. For too long have people got away with things, and perhaps even mistakenly thought that society agrees (since it doesn't ever say anything otherwise). I feel its now time i stopped 'going along' with this trend and instead of doing what i think is politely ignoring said problem, i feel challenged to be more vocal, and the next time i see a child made up in an adult way, sitting in the beauty salon at aged 5 getting her nails done or taking a child's pole dancing class (yes these exist in several places) I'll say something. Its a risk to offend a parent, but ultimately it is the child which will lose out if we don't help them. Its time society stopped 'keeping its nose out' and started to get involved.

London Town Riots

As it is impossible not to notice, there are riots in London (the worse it gets the more i think, 'this'll make a memorable story when i am old, 'oh those riots of '11''). However, it is not most of London, it is not the 'disempowered youth' of London, nor the immigrants nor the uprising against the budget cuts that affect the young. Boys just want to go out and smash up things and fight the police, simple as. Initially as i walked past my local Tesco closing early on my way home I'll admit i was scared and unbelievably sad. Things like this make me want to cry.

As we see pictures of burning buses near my offices, the shops in Peckham being looted and my whole house remain home all night in order to not get caught up in it, i am slowly fuming less and less. On reflecting on what it was that so greatly affected me with these kids rioting is, i realised it is that i cant believe these kids are so unintouch with who they are as individuals. These kids have such low self esteem and poor thought that they didn't think about what they are doing and are acting so illogically. I guess that is the fear also, how do you reason with the unreasonable?

These kids are not sending a message, they are not thinking for themselves and what this will ultimately mean for their future or their parents now. They cover their faces like cowards, if you have a point to make, do you not stand up proud and tall to make it, or do you pull your hood up and hide while you do it because you know that really what you are doing is wrong. They say they cannot get things, so they must loot for them. I say they cannot get things so they need to wait, get good grades and a job and then buy them like the rest of us. Children as young as ten have been seen wandering around masked and looting, and the police have begun asking parents to call their children home (nicely asked as if it will keep them safe, and not as if it would actually stop the riots when all the kids (who are the rioters go home).

Its a stark demonstration that many of us social workers already know, a growing proportion of parents cannot control their children, have not managed to establish in them a strong moral compass or sense of self. Many a child as young as eleven is out as late as they want, having sex with whomever they want and demanding new clothes and money and mobile phones when they need (and getting it).

My way to help society safely will be to gleefully identify as many as i can from the mug shots and tell the police. After all the police are too lenient and are typically perpetuating the parental relationships by letting the kids go with a warning, which is as good as saying, 'I'm gonna turn my back on this one'. Whatever happened to an instant 3 year prison sentence for anyone carrying a knife?? I've never seen one kid go down for that.

P.S new computer = unable to publish anything i've written at home? problem should be rectified soon. sorry.

Pride and Predjudice, or First Impressions?

We had a team away day this week as we are merging with a Youth Offending Team (YOT) due to budget cuts (somehow it saves money?). Therefore a whole glorious day was given over for us to get to spend some time getting to know our fellow team members and bond. I am useless at things like this, as you will see.

The first 'game' was to tell your partner a car or cartoon character that personifies yourself, which they will then feedback to the group and then everyone will know you. Ok well better than alliteration verbs: Lazy LE? Since i know nothing about cars and no cartoon character is quite as neurotic as myself i found it quite a challenge. I am also very naive at times, and it wasn't until we started to go around the room sharing our new friends' car soul that i realised everything being said was being turned into a sexual connotation and a euphemism for all relationships that person has.

There was raucous laughter at comments like, 'She's a ford, because she's cheap' or 'she thinks of herself as a mini as she is easy', even 'she's a Audi as she grips the corners well', etc etc. As this nightmare pans out before me, i know what I've already said to my new friend, and i know what towards the end of this circle she is going to loudly declare to everyone. Why oh why, did i think it was a good idea to say, 'oh, I'm not a car I'm a bike!'

That's barely even a euphemism, more like a direct statement, 'LE will sleep with anyone who wants a go'. Due to the volume of the laughter and loud catcalls, i never got to explain that i care about the environment and my health. Now all my new colleagues know my name, especially the men.