Dear Starbucks, Cookie & Hero,
A week before Christmas in 2018 three men broke into our flat in London at 11:45am whilst we were home. They kicked in the front door to the block, and then kicked in our front door in order to get into our flat. They wanted to steal our things before Christmas. I was in the kitchen with you, eating our lunch when it happened. I will never forget the moment of fear as I opened our door to the outer hall and had to peer around it worried about the unknown, or how loud I shouted when I saw them. I was scared, very scared, but also because you were all home I know I was also very strong.
However, this was not a story of fear and danger, it is really a story of feeling close of God, and blessings. Although these people broke into our house, I feel no hate towards them, just relief that it happened in the best way possible.
We moved our Tuesday morning bible study to Wednesday for the first time ever. When these men burst in, I had two friends with me, but you also had friends with you. We had enough hands to call the police, stand guard at the broken door and still encourage you to eat your cucumber. You were distracted enough by your friends presence, that even though you heard me shout HELP the loudest I have ever shouted, several times, and that my friends fumbled around for a phone and asked for the police on 999, you were easily sold on the story that I had got excited and started shouting, and broken the door by shutting it badly in my excitement, and that my friends had got a little edgy as they had never seen me excited before (very believable as I have one constant mode suitable for nearly all occasions).
Stopping you from knowing that people had entered our flat by force to take our stuff was all that mattered to me, you were too young to become aware that there are people out to use force against others, or that there are people driven by so much desperation, anger, fear or despair that they begin to not see the others they are hurting by their actions. I am sure you will experience this soon enough, but I want you to dwell in Love and light and community first, so you can appreciate and learn from the contrast.
I found myself afterwards justifying why they were wrong to 'pick on us', we only have one secondhand TV, 2 broken laptops and an I-pad with a crack across the screen; they should have rung on the door bell to see if we were home; we don't live in a fancy looking flat we are obviously not rich. Like there should be a code of conduct for robbers, and some people should not be targeted (by proxy this would mean that some people should be targeted!?!) I've revised this now, and really the code should be, don't burgle people if they are in, and to be fair to them, they ran away when they realised I was. So I'm ok with that. (that and I got a new massive lock for the front door).
I am clear that I think God has been telling us to leave London for the sake of specifically you Starbucks, and this was cemented by this experience and how I thought it would effect you emotionally if you found out. It's been a long time coming, our move to Norwich, but these little things along the way have been moving us practically and emotionally, ready for the change.
When I look back on this incident now, all I can see is God's love. That I had friends home with me that day, that I didn't see clearly the faces of the people involved and so don't think they clearly saw me either, that it was easy to fix within a day, that they took nothing despite having been past my bookcase where my keys to a fairly fancy car sit. It was the most unpersonal event that it could be, and I am healing quickly.
Also its not until you experience events like this that you find out how strong, loved and protected you are. Often as a Christian I find God seemingly far away (is he floating on the clouds?) but right now I know he is right beside me, I felt it as I shouted my heart out. I hope that you girls will realise sometime how much I love you, but more importantly I hope you will find this inner strength, this gut wrenching knowledge that there is a God who loves you beyond your closest understanding standing there with you in all the moments you need him.
Also kiddos, its ok to lie sometimes. ;)
I love you all, Mum.
