More Starbucks!!

 She doesn't do much yet. Sleeping (during the day - strictly not between 18:00- 00:30 for some reason). She also eats a lot, oh and cries. But she is so cute we forget to be cross with her when we look at her. People say she looks like Xss, she certainly likes to sleep like him.

You know you like chocolate an unhealthy amount when -

You know you like chocolate an unhealthy amount when you are peeling an orange and you think, 'ah, this smells like a chocolate orange'. (For those of your abroad this is a sphere shaped chocolate bar which is made of orange flavoured chocolate).

My favourite Starbucks quotes:

1) By the Midwife Support worker at St. Thomas' hospital; 'Some babies like pasta, and some like steak. Yours likes steak.' - Not really sure what it means but at the time it seemed to mean that Starbucks sucked very strongly when she fed.

2) By my Gramps; ' Of course she doesn't look like either of you, all babies look like Winston Churchill.' Enough said.

The journey thus far -

NB This is the long version of events that resulted in Starbucks arriving. For the people not bored enough to read all this- Starbucks arrived Tuesday morning at 5am following an induction as my waters had broken. After many hours of labouring she was delivered by Cesarean, and is now the cutest human being in the world.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When i started out on this pregnancy journey i vowed to be true to my non-pregnant female friends and be honest about the whole experience, but then the volume of weirdness's and complaints rose, and in order not to moan too much (not sure i succeeded) i let them begin to fall silent. There is a question over how much it is wise to let people know. If all girls grew up knowing the true picture, would the human race die out? I remember clearly when i found out from my sister that a question on the 'birth plan' was would you rather rip or be cut, in the most sensitive place ever. And there is no 'other' box on this form. You must choose from one of these painful options. Luckily as the pregnancy goes on, and the reality of the pain of childbirth dawns you realise that neither of these options matter as the pain will be nothing compared to what you are already experiencing.

So my waters broke on Saturday night 10pm, at the beginning of a boring DVD- the Ides of March- Xss's choice which i consequently got out of watching- phew. I was initially terrified and despite having spent weeks complaining about the lack of effort the baby was making to come into the world, became shakey and incredibly nervous. However, since no pain accompanied this, and my waters breaking seemed no different to wetting myself repeatedly, i calmed down pretty quick. Xss was overwhelmingly excited, which in hindsight is nice, but at the time terrifying, to see the different place to me he was coming from.

So a routine check at the hospital (being allocated the only male midwife on shift- creeping down the corridor behind him, knowing that at any moment he was going to open my notes and read the top line, 'I do not want a male midwife'. argh. Whilst i went to the bathroom Xss kindly set him straight and so for the duration of our time with him he repeatedly said sulkily, 'so i'll just do this/set this up and then go and get a FEMALE colleague'. Yep too right you will. sorry sunny Jim. He was not understanding. Next time perhaps i wont care, but first time round, you want to maintain your dignity as long as possible.

Following this exam, they decided to keep me in since Starbucks' head was not engaged and her chord could get caught beneath her and cut off her supplies. Thus started my 24 hour hotel style stay; if it was a hotel with 6 strangers sharing a room, free BP and temperature checks at 6am, and the potential for the biggest journey of your life to begin (the best and worst journey) without your husband . This is when i learnt my first lesson from God, fully rely on God, first and foremost: Before anyone else. All through this process i had focused on Xss being there with me, helping me through, encouraging me and feeling that everything would be ok, if only he is there. Well, he wasn't there. Sent home by the ward nurses at 1am shortly after i was admitted, i had no-one. Being a Christian i knew God would be with me, and as my friend True reminded me, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. But could I. Well, it was a tough time, until i came to the reality that i could rely on God foremost, he would definitely be with me at all times, and then i could use Xss as back up. He only has human skills- the ability to get me comfort food, wipe my hair from my forehead, say things that inspire me, but in my opinion God can do SOOOO much more- heal, perform miracles (hopefully none would be needed) and impart wisdom. This higher ability acknowledged my night went well and i calmed down a lot.

So following 24 hours of nothingness they induced me. You are not in labour until you are 3cm dilated and having contractions. So really you want to arrive at the hospital and have a pleasant surprise of the midwife stating you are more than 3cm. Starting from scratch was going to be hard, but i was excited about seeing what my body could do. I even pre-considered getting a victory t-shirt made up that said, 'i can dilate 10cm's can you?' I mean isn't that an achievement in itself! touch your nose with your tongue? Nah i can dilate 10cms.

Well, at first check (after 4 hours of contractions started by a continuous drip in my arm) i was........1 cm. 1! 1! argh. Next check 4 hours later - 3cm- progress, slow but getting somewhere. 4 hours later (after having gone down the epidural route, which takes the pain away but leaves you in some uncomfortable surreal hell) i was STILL 3cms. Not funny.

I thought I'd up the pain relief whenever necessary, and lasted 4 hours on paracetamol and TENS machine only, until the pain of the TENS machine got too much and then i needed gas and air to take the edge off of it (i jest not).Moving on to gas and air, which is admittedly fun, but makes you feel drunk. And being very British this reduced my speaking and communicating vastly as i feared I'd come out with some 'drunken' comment like 'i really love you, your lovely, can we be best friends?' - to my midwife who was lovely and really could have been my friend if i met her in different circumstances.

It was great fun being in labour- really. I felt like i was doing something, fighting a good fight. And as people know, i am very competitive so it was fun to push myself and see what i could really cope with. experince what my body could do.  Not so much it turns out, as i was asking for an epidural after only 5 hours. The midwife and Xss said i had been really brave and that felt great :) - no sticker though :(

So to end the story, at the next 4 hour check. Now heavily drugged up, i was 5cms!! This was not enough apparently, and the doctor decided on a Cesarean. Did i want one? Who cares, it was happening, and Starbucks didn't appear to be coming out any other way any time soon. I could only spend so long stuck in a dull room with a painful drip in my hand (so inconvenient i named it Boris), constantly awake and on various monitors, in a medium amount of pain.

So she was born.

Starbucks' first breath. And thankfully for me no ripping or being cut in private areas. Small mercies.

Starbucks.

We went on our first outing since coming out of hospital. Guess where we took Starbucks? Starbucks.

Not sure she even noticed we were there, let alone that due to a lack of space someone had used her head as a table.