Sorry.

ok, so i've specatularly failed at writing a post a week, but i have managed to finish my first year of my degree (i am yet to find out if i have passed). Prioritising studying meant a lack of housework completed, and less relaxing for me, but now that i no longer have to revise i seem to be surrounded by free time!! This is amazing. i cant believe how much time i now have. This is odd, as i still have a small child, a job, a husband, friends and a household to organise. New plans involve:

-dying my hair blue?? this was a goal of mine when i was 18!
- getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist
- DIY around the house (this will take up a lot of time as each thing i do will ruin something and take a lot more effort to fix).
- watching TV
- Drinking Starbucks
- sewing something??!?

what fun

14/52 Happy? Free time to be me and get things done

Church Love

I love my church because it is diverse, very diverse. Economically, culturally, racially and socially.

Recently i had a headache (long story around me never having had a headache before, going to A&E, being diagnosed as having a headache, being informed i had to eat the tablets they gave me without knowing what they are then returning home, humbled, embarrassed and ever so thankful that there is free health care in England) and could not attend church. I had lunch plans with someone after church so politely text her saying, 'i do not feel very well, i will be unable to attend our meeting today, sorry. Please forward me the notes'.

And why our church is socially diverse:
She replied, 'oh, we prayed for you. I hope it is nothing as serious as an ectopic pregnancy'.
I am not sure what the correct response to that is. 'no'?

The next week she cancelled our meeting stating that she had to meet Chris after church. ' Sorry to cancel but i have to meet Chris after church today and he has a way of explaining things in great detail'.

Lastly, One of Starbucks' Godmothers gave us a belated birthday present for her recently. It was a white fur coat, unusual, but kinda cool. As i got it out the bag, it seemed to get bigger and bigger. Then i tried it on, and it fitted me. The label inside says "34". Although i find it funny, and not a problem, i am still left wondering what to do. Do i make Starbucks wear it to church one week? How do i get it to stay on? Do i try and take a photo of her wearing it and show the Godmother, or do i just give it to a charity shop and never mention it again? Oh the joys of a socially diverse church.

13/52 Happy? Knowing such a variety of people

How to solve a problem work style.....

I have no major problems in my life, so i like to get overly worked up about the small ones. The latest of these is Xss going to bed late and waking me up when he does. The first night it was loud whistling in the bathroom, the next shaving with his electric razor (at 11:45pm!!). Rather than get mad (i was silently mad- but when you're in bed, in the dark this might just seem like you are asleep- the opposite of what i wanted). (i tried some angry tossing and turning,to try and make him feel bad). Anyway. whats the adult way to solve a problem like this with your partner? Go to work mad and fire off lots of passive aggressive emails to my friends Honestly and Lovely. All prefixed with, 'Xss is really great BUT.....'

So i asked for inspiration from their jobs. How would they tackle this problem at work?

In my work i would:
- tell him his behaviour is 'unacceptable'
- work out suitable rewards and sanctions for good/poor behaviour
- Issue Xss an Acceptable Behaviour Contract (ABC/ASBO) detailing what specific behaviours are not allowed in the bathroom at what times (which takes a lot of work, and then means nothing once broken)

Lovely, who works for a well known homeless charity suggested that her work would:
- swear
-  write a letter saying that if he looses his home because of his behaviour, he’ll be found intentionally homeless and then no one will help him.
- tell his mum (this is one of Lovely's very effective and non-protocol techniques with her younger teenage clients)

Honestly would:
- Use a Measurement framework (a flow diagram) so that you can measure progress of your responses to his behaviour, learn from that and then adapt your response until it’s perfect (and you sleep well!)
- campaign for change by getting large organisations and MP's involved

12/52 Happy? Having only small things like this to 'worry' about.

That girl thing

I've had a girl baby. We'll I've had one for over a year now. One of the more interesting (academically) concepts to arise from this is 'does gender exist separate from society?' Not sex, but gender. I hate pink. I also consider myself to have been raised by a gang of boys (and i mean gang in the old fashioned sense, so a tight knot group of friends that hangout a lot- not the modern word that adults bandy about now days when they are scared). Needless to say raising a girl is an issue for me, i think? I was really disappointed when i heard she was a girl, yes, i freely admit it, as i can freely admit that i am now more than 100% happy that she was a girl and not a boy. girl = mummy's friend, boy = future silverback. See, i have already done it! stereotyped gender!

Sometimes when Starbucks is good people will say, 'ah, it's because she's a girl'. I find it INCREDIBLY annoying. What so girls are good and boys are bad, my parenting has no influence??

Anyways, i have always tried to dress Starbucks in anything but pink, with the result being that most people think she is a boy. I thought it might be fun to include some pictures of her clothes here so you can decide for yourself if i am dressing her like a boy.

( These photos are all the same way around on my computer?) Boys or girls?

 Boys or girls? Dinosaur and combat colours?

 Black long sleeve?

 The most girly we go. It's got slight frills on the arms and its a cat

 Boys?

 My favourite band. Surely black is unisex?

Cookie!! but blue is a 'boys colour?

I'd be interested to know your thoughts, but when i go through this, i think most of these items are boys. Does that mean that Dinosaurs, 1980's clothing, stripes and combat are all only for boys. If so, what do girls like? shoes and cats? curious.

11/52 Happy? That i am a girl. I can grow humans!