I recently went to Sweden for a wedding (another excuse for not writing on here as often as i would like). Initially we thought it was in Stockholm, then further north, but eventually as understanding dawned on us, the wedding was in the Arctic circle!! It was cold, but you just wear more coats (plural) don't you? (And no we didnt see the stupid northern lights, but we're not going back.)
I think some pretty stupid things for a relatively intelligent person, so i was worried about attending this wedding as a parent, after all everyone knows that the Scandinavians are brilliant, natural mothers. I couldn't help but think they they would be attending this not-so-baby-friendly-event with their offspring who would not cry, would be cute (perhaps do a twee dance or ditty for strangers on demand) and would fall asleep during the evening and happily sleep on the chairs round the edge, undisturbed by the loud music, dancing and merriment. I also thought that they would look down on me, think me stern and strict with my daughter and as i struggled with her wiggling torso on an hourly basis wonder if i had perhaps stolen this baby from someone else only a few days earlier.
Luckily, a baby is a baby. This i learnt. Five babies attended the church, and by the end five parents were walking around quietly at the back trying to keep their offspring occupied and quiet. Starbucks did let out a big cry as we tried to restrain her from making happy screeching noises, but there were four other babies there and I'm not owning up. At the reception (which had no accompanying rooms for babies to branch off into or crawl around (without the minor peril 100 pairs of feet presented) three babies attended and the two others retired before Starbucks to bed with the male in the family.
But here is the main difference. The mum's didn't worry. They didn't think it 'looked bad' that their partner had to leave the room to settle the baby, they didn't care that food ended up on the floor, and they seemed completely unconcerned with continually changing places and swapping seats with their overactive little treasure. This is a sad indictment on our British society. Why do British woman feel so obliged to live up to a ridiculous standard of motherhood. One that doesn't even make sense. You can't tame another human being, even small ones.
You could put it back on society and ask why does our society dictate that its better to see a cute, clean, child sitting still than it is to see one noisily, joyfully, throwing themselves around eating alternate mouthfuls whilst throwing the other on the floor? I can honestly say from the group of mothers i have met since having Starbucks, everyone (myself included) is trying so hard to ensure that their baby inconveniences the least people at every given opportunity. Its stressful, its hard work and its unrealistic.
Swedes are better mother, because they recognise that a baby is a baby, they are not embarrassed by it, worried about it, or concerned with how anyone else is treating theirs. They are making it simple - they are being mothers to their babies.
Starbucks being a baby (busy eating a spoon on a shopping centre floor in Sweden).
