forced reflections.

One reason I haven't posted much over the past year is that part of my paid work has involved reflecting, which is essentially what I do here. In hiensight my greatest reflection is that I felt obliged during this reflecting to fulfill expectations from my supervisor and reflect what she wanted me to else risk losing my job. It got to the stage where in my evaluations of how I felt emotionally I had to change what I felt to what she thought I felt, as that was the answer she obviously wanted me to give. I like to be true to myself, it's a value I hold very dear, but at the same time my work is very much tied up with a lot of other stuff now, like my decision to return to employment and not stay home with my kids to work for £1 an hour because it would facilitate the future job that I wanted. Tough choice, be true to myself in reflective work logs and potentially lose or delay the future I was aiming for, or lie and keep my non-work related aims and all other ethics in tact?

Anyway, I digress, I just wanted to say that 'I'm back'.

I am now free to vainly over think everything I think and feel. Yippee.

Although I'll soon be too tired to think or feel anything thanks to my nights spent with Hero.

Food offerings

With baby number three has come new blessings. We've changed churches and have been offered a 'meals rota' to help us out. Because I now have several children (more than a handful in many respects), if someone offers to cook me dinner I'm not going to turn them down!

So far we have been the beneficiaries of:
Chicken, potato and ham hock bake
Roast chicken and potato tray bake with pavlova
Chicken & chorizo pot pie
Vegetarian lasagne
Chicken, chorizo & chickpea stew
Shepherds pie and cheesecake
Beef stew
Thai green curry
Chicken tikka curry, rice & ice cream
Meat lasagne
Salmon & potato tray bake
Beef pie
Sausage cassarole & rice

And
A massive pear cake
A massive carrot cake
A massive box of Ferrero Rocher

Along with numerous bags/boxes of chocolate, cartons of juice, gifts for the kids etc.

When there are two parents at home, and dinner is precooked for you looking after 3 kids is totally manageable. Xss returns to work soon, and I'll have to cook dinner soon...... gulp.

Ps it's so loving and confidence inspiring receiving meals that I am now uber keen to repay the favour. Just need to find a killer reciepes,  oh and a heavily pregnant woman! I'm on the look out.