One reason I haven't posted much over the past year is that part of my paid work has involved reflecting, which is essentially what I do here. In hiensight my greatest reflection is that I felt obliged during this reflecting to fulfill expectations from my supervisor and reflect what she wanted me to else risk losing my job. It got to the stage where in my evaluations of how I felt emotionally I had to change what I felt to what she thought I felt, as that was the answer she obviously wanted me to give. I like to be true to myself, it's a value I hold very dear, but at the same time my work is very much tied up with a lot of other stuff now, like my decision to return to employment and not stay home with my kids to work for £1 an hour because it would facilitate the future job that I wanted. Tough choice, be true to myself in reflective work logs and potentially lose or delay the future I was aiming for, or lie and keep my non-work related aims and all other ethics in tact?
Anyway, I digress, I just wanted to say that 'I'm back'.
I am now free to vainly over think everything I think and feel. Yippee.
Although I'll soon be too tired to think or feel anything thanks to my nights spent with Hero.
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