There are so many odd moments in being a parent. Wearing matching newspaper hats whenever you go on the tube is one.
The possibly oddest scenario occurred earlier this week when Starbucks (2) informed me during our playing of 'doctors' that I should 'feed from this boobie and then this one, ok mummy', as she pointed to her unformed chest. 'No'. 'Why mummy?', 'just no'.
I'm not sure if it's made more or less odd by being alone with her and no one else witnessing this surrealism.
Would other mothers lent in and pretended to? Or is there a definite do not cross line there? Surely there's a line, although it might be way back before when she said 'let's play doctors, lay down'.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
A dark unjust world
Sadly I've been learning some new lessons lately.
I can clearly remember a time in my teenage years when I realised that my parents didn't know everything, and in fact, I knew more than them (oh yeah I'm a conceited child). A few years later I began to realise that my parents were actually their own people making their own personal choices and that perhaps on occasion I was more more emotionally intelligent than them (do I sound vain?) realising that those above you don't necessarily make the right decision all the time can make you feel that bit more vulnerable in a dark and difficult world.
I've adapted to this. To the vulnerability of knowing that your parents are not all knowing and protecting.
I feel that a large contributor to Lovely's low mental health this summer was the development of a feeling that doctors cannot always make you better. In fact they might not even be able to diagnose your problem. She was suffering from sever bleeding but they couldn't work out why, and often when she wasn't in pain, or complaining they didn't care. Reduced staff quotas at the weekends, cost cutting on tests etc means if there is no one complaining loud enough, no diagnosis might be made. It ruins the 'truth' that when you are ill doctors make you better.
At the same time, Honestly is experiencing the justice process in court this week. To us who know the case it is obvious that the victim was a vulnerable young child, attacked, and the perpetrator is a really unpleasant man. However what else is clear is that due to certain rules, a minimal amount of actual concrete evidence, and the way the system works, it would seem highly likely that what we consider justice will not occur. The police cannot protect you, nor always get you justice.
The world is a dark place when you realise just how alone you are. What truth can you cling to?
Luckily for me, I believe that there is an awesome God surrounding us. An all powerful father figure who is above the law and social rules so can achieve justice. A clever magician who knows all your intricate workings at a glance.
Still it's odd to realise that there is no human structure above you that can protect you and keep safe.
There's no Santa Claus either.
I can clearly remember a time in my teenage years when I realised that my parents didn't know everything, and in fact, I knew more than them (oh yeah I'm a conceited child). A few years later I began to realise that my parents were actually their own people making their own personal choices and that perhaps on occasion I was more more emotionally intelligent than them (do I sound vain?) realising that those above you don't necessarily make the right decision all the time can make you feel that bit more vulnerable in a dark and difficult world.
I've adapted to this. To the vulnerability of knowing that your parents are not all knowing and protecting.
I feel that a large contributor to Lovely's low mental health this summer was the development of a feeling that doctors cannot always make you better. In fact they might not even be able to diagnose your problem. She was suffering from sever bleeding but they couldn't work out why, and often when she wasn't in pain, or complaining they didn't care. Reduced staff quotas at the weekends, cost cutting on tests etc means if there is no one complaining loud enough, no diagnosis might be made. It ruins the 'truth' that when you are ill doctors make you better.
At the same time, Honestly is experiencing the justice process in court this week. To us who know the case it is obvious that the victim was a vulnerable young child, attacked, and the perpetrator is a really unpleasant man. However what else is clear is that due to certain rules, a minimal amount of actual concrete evidence, and the way the system works, it would seem highly likely that what we consider justice will not occur. The police cannot protect you, nor always get you justice.
The world is a dark place when you realise just how alone you are. What truth can you cling to?
Luckily for me, I believe that there is an awesome God surrounding us. An all powerful father figure who is above the law and social rules so can achieve justice. A clever magician who knows all your intricate workings at a glance.
Still it's odd to realise that there is no human structure above you that can protect you and keep safe.
There's no Santa Claus either.
Welcome to paradise
starbucks has been learning about CDs verses DVDs. As she headed down the hall with a large stack of CDs to take to the car I had to limit her to taking only 5. She chose Greenday -Dookie!
Ah. It's been a long time. What a great afternoon it was driving to toys r us listening to it. Starbucks said she thought the music was 'nice'. Now to introduce her to the Foo Fighters - The Colour and the Shape! (Probably the best album ever).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)