1) At 14 they have so much more belief in their relationships and a huge degree of resilience in them (oh yeah he cheated on me, but that was last week). They believe that they will be with their boyfriend forever (well at least until they are 30), and cannot be convinced otherwise. THEY WILL MARRY THEM OK. He got the ring from Argos last week.
2) The ultimate goal in life is 'To be cool'. This is taken to all extremes and can ironically result in them looking like a complete fool by refusing to look uncool. Stupid radical clothes, outrageous make-up and taking political stances on things no-one cares about is actually cool.
3) They have no shame in trying to get away with anything. Even if they make a gain, they ruthlessly continue to see what else they might be able to get rather than marvel in their previous success. If you don't try it, you definitely wont get it.
4) They don't feel the need to go home, ever. If you go out and get wet, the default of an adult is to go home and change, if you are tired, to go home and sleep. Teenagers just seem to solve the immediate problem as soon as possible. You are wet? use a towel or handryer, or wear whatever other clothes are around and move on. You are tired? Just sleep wherever you are!
5) They believe that true love can be demonstrated by wearing matching clothes. I saw matching his and her coats last week!
6) They haven't been socially conditioned like adults to sit and move in certain ways. Ask a teenager to sit down, and they do it there and then, no squaring up to the chair and neatly sitting. Why use all that effort? If the shortest way somewhere is over two fences, bring on the fences!
7) Their natural reaction is to smile when caught out or in the wrong.
8) They actually DO need more sleep than adults. How great to sleep all day, and to have an excuse
9) If you are a teenage boy, and you fancy a teenage girl then you should bully them as much as possible; As somehow this will result in you getting the girl!!
10) They have their own language which changes with generations specifically so that adults always think teenagers sound ridiculous.
Wag1, you peng thing: Hi,You are attractive
Stop vexing me butters: Stop stressing me out you unattractive person.
I'm going to link LDog, might kick it in Burgess Park: I'm going to meet Peter, we might spend sometime in Burgess Park.
Uh fanks, sket: oh, thank you. You sexually promiscuous person.
Sick, lets roll : Great, lets go.
11) You can say 'blood' or 'bro' on the end of sentences and expect people not to laugh at you
12) Groups of teenagers hanging around with each other has always caused anxiety in adults, and since they all look the same it is impossible to determine what they might be capable of. Will they all run after me and push me or are they simply discussing Dizzy Rascal in upper class accents?
13) They can effectively completely disown their own actions with the phrase, 'Well, i must have.....' As if someone else has made them do it and they cant really remember.
If any of my kids are reading this- I love you guys, keep up the good work! You rock! (that's old person for you are cool).
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