Dear Aussies.....

Dear Stan, Junior & Mel (and any other Australian),

I write to you seeking cultural clarification on a confusing issue. Having recently encountered some (well, actually thousands of) people of Australian breeding in a small town called Kuta in Bali, it has left me utterly confounded. Firstly, may i say thank you for teaching the Balinese how to speak English so well, we have not met someone yet who cannot speak to us in our language which is convenient to say the least. However, i wonder why they seem to have this tic where they attach the word mate to everything? 'How are you mate?' , 'Need a taxi mate?', 'This sarong is very nice, comes in 3 colours and seven sizes mate'. I assume this is an Indonesian word that has yet to be translated.

But i am really perplexed as to why Australians come to Kuta? Is it for a love of the uniform that they seem to have to wear here, the Bintong beer logo seems crass for a child of 5 but apparently no-one is exempt from wearing it? Or is it because there it is compulsory to walk around with a full beer and cigarette firmly grasped in one hand, whilst the other is used for balance (usually along walls)? Or is it for the beach? Upon which i saw a DEAD rat on, not even an alive one, a dead one, even he didn't like Kuta beach. Or is it the rubbish and the small waves? From what I've heard Australia has all these things: beaches, the sun and the surf (and from what it looks like on Home and Away yours are so much better) so why come here for less of the same?? Dont tell me Home and Away lies!

I know that Australians are lovely people, i often (compulsively) watch the documentary that is Neighbours about real Australians lives. I know they can be somewhat hectic what with multiple marriages, near death experiences, illigitimate children arriving and not to mention that most Australians lose their memories at least once in their life. But really you are lovely people, who just want to help each other and can often be caught standing around a street party singing Christmas songs together.

So why go to Kuta? Please explain.

Confused English woman

LE