1. Starbucks wakes up and emanates the most annoying sound known to man from her cot. Its a cross between deep breathing and a car with a broken exhaust sound, she makes it continually without break until she sees someone. She gets collected from her cot with a warm greeting and deposited into our bed with the hope that one day she will lay there and go back to sleep for a few hours. snug.
2. After 30 seconds laying there Starbucks begins shouting. Its probably not shouting, but when you've not heard anything for 8 hours, its definitely louder than anything you want to hear. 'Mummy, mummy, daddy' accompanied by pointing labelling you.
3. After having had it reaffirmed that no-one name has changed over night she stands up unsteadily on the pillows and begins looking at the books on the shelf above our head. She grabs one, but its so heavy it falls from her grip and hits Xss on the head. aahh! (we remain laying down as long as possible to maximise energy savings settings).
4. Starbucks finds this new reaction funny and continues to make her own 'aahh!' noise. She drops another book onto our pillows while shouting 'aahh' in a hope that we will also make the noise again. Time to get out of the danger zone, thus forced to get up
5. On entering the kitchen Starbucks pushes the chair over to her highchair and climbs in (a handy new trick). She then spends a while thinking about what cereal she wants while the wheatabix or corn flakes are placed in front of her. She points to the wheatabix box but then makes a loud shouting noise when you try to get it out. She wants corn flakes. I apologise and try to serve her corn flakes, to which she shouts, 'NO'. She wants Wheatabix but not for me to touch the packet.
6. I try to allow her to get it out, but there's A LOT of pressure in those small fingers and all she does is chip the wheatabix into crumbs that proceed to get stuck over her PJ's. (they don't wash out either for some reason).
7. She then wont let me put her bib on. i remove her breakfast from reach and a stand off ensues, before she calmly agrees to let me put it on after all.
8. I give her a cup of water, which she puts her spoon in to stir. She then begins to try to drink it using her spoon and it spills over her chair. I have to dry everything off with a cloth.
9. She finishes eating her cereal and begins drinking the milk from the bowl. However the only part of this she has mastered is putting the bowl to her mouth height. She pours the milky wheatabix cement down her front, the chair and the floor/wall. She is satisfied that she has done an adult thing and smiles.
10. As i bend down under the table to wipe this all up she patronisingly pats me on the head. Wheatabix hair, a great look I'm beginning to perfect for work.
11. I take Starbucks to the bathroom to wash her hands and do her teeth. She stands on the table next to the sink and labels the toothbrushes, 'mummy, dadddy'. She chooses her own and demands paste and water on it. I do mine at the same time to save time. As i spit into the bowl Starbucks stops brushing and pokes at my spit with her finger. I tell her not to.
12. So she does it again and then hurriedly eats it.
13. I promptly wash the spit away and continue. As i try to continue spitting out toothpaste and stopping Starbucks from touching it i accidentally spit on her head as she leans into the way.
I continue to try to sound chirpy, but she's only been awake 20 minutes.
25/52 Happy? More often than not, I don't care about all these things happening to me. Just go with it. It's only going to get worse when/if we have more.
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