Bikram Yoga? It's full of hot air!

Dear Rowl,

Thanks for the advice: I have now been to Bikram Yoga, and got ringworm. Yes. I got ringworm from a sweaty yoga mat! I did enjoy many aspects of Bikram yoga (yoga in a sauna type room) like the poses where you have to pretend you are flying (i only needed a small amount of encouragement on any day and towels make very good capes!) I also felt that i wasn't terrible at it, which is unusual for me when trying new things.

However, the negative aspects usurped these positives, namely the incident of my naked bum flesh touching a complete strangers naked thigh flesh when trying to squeeze into those titchy showers which even though they pretend to be built for 6 (note no curtains for modesty) should only accommodate one buck naked stranger at a time. This shower appeared to be the lesser of two evils, the other being seen on a tube on the way home in soaking wet, semi see-through cycling shorts and untamable hair which looked like I'd been on an adventure sports weekend. I'm not vain, but its got to be rude to stand up from your tube seat and leave a wet sweat mark for the next person to inherit!

Now i realise that i might be in the process of offending my already nominal blog audience by taking about this, but what is a blog for if it isn't for espousing unqualified opinions about topics only cats care about: I THINK YOGA IS CRAP. There I've said it. I think my body is a pretty technical but well- erm, well.... good machine, i don't think it benefits from an hour of improving my blood flow (if you blood doesn't flow well, doesn't that mean you are already dead?) or from improving my breathing (again, dead if i don't breathe). I can understand that some postures might help these things more than others- but if so, well surely a deportment style finishing school where i am taught to do these continuously as part of life is better than a sweaty 90 minutes, a few times a week. People are convinced that Yoga changed their life; i don't think so. They changed their life whilst attending yoga and they haven't managed to work out what it is they changed. What most people need is to slow down and spend 90minutes a few times a week investing in themselves and feeling good. it is an enforced calm and time to forget about daily hassles, a time to get in touch with your body. Great, but why not diversify, read a book for those 90 mins, watch a film, walk round the park and smell the flowers, have a bath, do proper exercise!


Well i hope that Rowl, Nman and Lovely will forgive me this rant, but you can keep your yoga values, i'm sticking to kick boxing. There were only so many times i could hit the person next to me in yoga and still make it seem like an accident.

So with less modesty, some great new ideas of how to pose as if flying, an ability to breath better and a tasteful array of pink spots i think i have definitely, well and truly earned my Bikram yoga badge.