A badge that i'm not sure i want to wear

The sun is glaring in through the window.

The heating is still on full tilt in our office.

And i am ridiculously hot.

So i went out to lunch in just my t-shirt. This was a new experience for me, out there, with my pregnant belly protruding out front, no hiding it, no mistaking it for fat. There is a baby being pushed along in front of me.

I felt oddly uncomfortable with this situation, like i was wearing a t-shirt with a slogan on that i was not convinced that i agreed with. Wandering along putting a message out there when no message was intended. Does this mean i am not proud of being pregnant- yes. Am i proud of my baby? well, no she's not done anything yet. I think that some people feel it is an achievement to be pregnant, and i oppose this. strongly. There is nothing clever, admirable or noble about getting pregnant, it just takes some unprotected sex, you don't even have to be attracted to the other person. Is it weird that this puts me off being pregnant and proud? But i don't want to be wrongly construed and labelled, perhaps if i've done a good job of motherhood then i'd like some approving glances, but for growing a grub, no.

i think too much.