Deadly donuts in Cambridge

We felt like locals as we joined the line for donuts sold from an old fashioned van parked on a residential drive in near by Cambridge. There have been a handful of moments so far when we eat something on this trip and exchange looks that say, 'it tastes good but surely you would die of a heart attack after only a couple'. Can you spot the maple bacon donut?

Joys of our childhoods

I like making dens. I innately try to encourage Starbucks into everything I like, therefore she has begun loving den's too. Our latest one is made of sheets spread over the clothes horse. She has spent the last few days decanting our cupboard into the tent den and then arranging and rearranging. It's so cute to see.

Stocking up on the festival necessities.

 Other things i like to encourage her to do - climbing into the duvet in between the cover and the actual duvet (a mysterious twilight world), jumping on anything she can (sofa, bed, table-opps), splashing in the bath, making things out of cardboard boxes, listening to Guns 'n' Roses, patting people on the head when they have done well (a great air of condescension when done by a baby), being held upside down, swinging her around while holding her hands, going down the biggest slides that we can find! [Its annoying that your default line for parenting comes from your own experience, even if you think that much of your own childhood wasn't great. If i continue to recreate my own childhood for Starbucks it's not going to be pretty later on. ]

15/52 Happy? Squashed in a tiny den with my daughter while she rearranged her bottles of beer and onions.

Happy Easter Everyone.

I know preaching at people is not cool, and i know that as an adult most people have already decided what they think about God. But in case there is some room for change in your opinions:

God Loves you.
Through his death Jesus made a statement; has said that he will stand up for you when you meet God at the end of the day and have to account for the things you have not done in your life. He believes you are worth dying for, even if you continue to do wrong or never even acknowledge it. There is no greater love than this.

If nothing else believe that Jesus showed us how to live a life full of love; and he wasn't always wandering around clapping his hands joyfully, telling everyone off in a patronising manner.

Happy Easter. I hope you know you are loved.

Starbucks and her friend Hope, acting out the scene when Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene after his death. From their facial expressions you can really tell that they have got into character! Ah what a great life it is not having to work and having no outlet for our creative energy.

Uses #104 & #105 for a muslin cloth!

Talking with Blue

This is Blue the Macaw. He speaks English and Thai. Yesterday when i was cleaning him out, in a small 2m square cage, complete with numerous poles, platforms and bars (fun for him, difficult for me to duck under), he was following me around and quite often getting quite close to my face. Eventually this got too much, so i said directly to him, ' Look Blue, I'm sorry but i cant understand if you are being nice or horrible?' to which he said perfectly clearly, 'Horrible'. So i got out the cage.

My new Bra

I have been bra shopping and the new bra that i got (minus matching pants :( ) is a sizer bigger than i normally buy. Therefore i have been examining the current environment i find myself in to look for a correlation between behaviour change and bra size. Here are my suggestions:

1) Monkey wee on the skin. Most of the Gibbons here have cages with floors a couple of meters above the ground in an effort to get them to understand that they live in the trees not on the ground. This means that several paths go under Gibbons cages and certain Gibbons have perfected the art of peeing on people as they swing overhead. its quite an art, and quite a way to start the day at 6.30 am.

2) Eating copious amounts of Thai food. All food is provided at the zoo so i eat peanut butter toast for breakfast, but come lunch time am starving so usually dig into two plates of cooked Thai food (typically rice, satay potato's, stir fry vegetables, sweet and sour chicken, bread crumbed potato, fried corn cakes). Bu dinner time it is cooler and i am still hungry so i usually have 2 more plates of Thai food from the buffet. Perhaps its not only my chest size which has increased?

3) learning monkey. Most monkeys communicate with us in some way, Xss's favourite does a repetitive kissing motion then turns around and scratches his backside and front at the same time while looking back. Apparently this is nice. They also make lots of noise and it is hard to not copy them and try to interact through crazy facial actions whilst feeding them. Are bizarre facial exercises responsible?

4) Constantly standing in poo. Everyday at 9am, straight after breakfast each team has a 'special task' these often include cleaning out pools in the enclosures. ALL of the animals enjoy swimming and then pooing in their pools. Therefore each day we take off our shoes and climb into a partically drained pool to bucket out the rest of the water and scrub it with a handheld brush before it is refilled. Is bear poo a brilliant fertiliser for growth?

5) Sunshine and water. It is hot here, we know its going to get hotter as we travel more, so we try not to complain, but most of the time it feels like someone is holding a hand dryer to your skin as soon as you step out of the shade. This is accompanied by drinking mugs full of water on each and every break. Is an increase in energy input responsible?

6) Living in mild peril. Some of the monkeys here are a little aggressive when you go near their cages and you have to stay back from them. Even ones missing limbs like Bandit below (one armed bandit!) try to scare you. The animal most people are scared of though is Randy the horn-bill (whom Xss actually likes) i was in his cage cleaning out (very hurriedly at that) whilst someone else distracted him from outside the cage with a stick (he thinks he's a dog). However, that got boring and he swooped for me. As i ducked in a hurry i fell on my backside. It was funny, but i then ran out the cage as quick as possible. Does fear give off a growth hormone?

Bandit giving a thoughful pose

7) Small Thai peoples. Thai women are undoubtedly smaller than me in everyway. It is indeed possible that the whole country mislabels their lingerie on purpose just to boost self esteem? Seems nice if this is true. In England we like to steal self esteem and when you go to buy your wedding dress, the day you want to seem slimmest, they mark up the sizes so that you order a dress 2 sizes bigger than you normally wear. That almost made me cry. Isn't that sad.

well, there are numerous positive correlations here but as to them being cause and effect? All i can say is that i am happy, relaxed and smiling inside and out so who cares.

And i still have found what i`m looking for......

In a strange moment today i finally felt like i understood what it is to be a traveller, what it is we are supposed to be looking for and why people perceive times of travelling as so amazing.

Today we went rock climbing in the Andes surrounding Santiago.

This is us having our pic-nic (South American spelling) lunch down by the river. Hezus our climbing expert, Monica one of our hostel workers and me. Xss took the picture. As usual we managed to befriend a dog and it tried to sit on my lap throughout lunch, but was really rather nice. I think someone should invent a rent a dog business because it makes nice days outside even nice when you have a dog in tow. She turned up sad and lonesome and after some food and fuss was running home with us happy and bouncy!

So we decided to go climbing and called up Hezus from a hostel advert. He was really nice, spoke brilliant English and he invited Monica along (who turned out to be great). We took a tube to the end of the metro line then a cab to the middle of nowhere from where we proceeded to walk into the Andes, stopping at an idyllic spot near the river to climb. I was pretty bad at it but it was great to be in the great outdoors, being challenged, trying new things and enjoying peoples company.

Here is Xss at the top of the rock having climbed up the easy route. We then tried another easy way and two harder ways (one being near impossible i think). Xss excelled at it, was quick and sure and it was great to learn this about him. He also managed one of the very hard routes where you had to hang underneath the rock at a time. Because Hezus thought it was fun we also tried out ´jumping´off the wall. This involved climbing up higher than where the rope was attached and launching yourself off the wall knowing that the rope would catch you and pull you back in after a 2 meter drop. I tried this and did it, but the sensation of going against all your senses and falling backwards with nothing to hold onto was very strange and i had nothing to prove so didn't go very high. Xss on the other hand was lunching himself off the wall from the word go trusting the ropes instantly. He was truly fearless, another thing learnt.

It was after this, and chatting with Monica (our single serving, lovely, friend- openly acknowledged by all), and having yummy fresh avocado, chicken, tomato and cucumber rolls (with our feet in the river) for lunch, and the glorious surrounding scenery, and having some cold beers in the river which we drank as a celebration at the end, and walking down the dusty road at the end of the day ( we didn't get home until 9pm having left at 8.30am) tired from the physical exercise, with our now happy dog skipping along at our feet that i realised. I realised that i was truly content, not worried about anything, not wanting anything more, no plans for the future, satisfied with all i had learnt in the day. In this moment i was truly happy. For me, this is the best i could get from travelling, a time when i am happy in each moment, relaxed and not upset about anything, enjoying the world and Xss for all they have to offer and not making things complicated.

The view from the river rock

The last Horoah!

Since we´ve been back on the farm its been very uneventful; although i am now more tanned than some of the Brazillians. All i need is longer brown hair and tight denim shorts and i´d blend in perfectly. (well i doubt i ever blend in because i´m always tripping over, but i might be mistaken for an outstanding Brazillian). There are now eight of us British people on the farm so evenings have become a little more fun. We generally play bored games or watch films, Paddy (29, British) makes a mean cup of British tea, but more importantly the level of Banter is great as several people are very funny (Ali- 26, British) and i havent laughed as hard or so constantly for ages.

The breaking news from Britian is that True has given brith to her second son and named him Joel David. Xss and I have talked about when we will have kids and i am willing to admit that i am less than enthused about the prospect of voluntarily allowing my body to be comendered for nine months with no deposit being held for damages. I am pretty sure damages will occur, so i have to wait until the want for the product is greater than the sacrificing of my lovely flat stomach and only slightly wobbley thighs (even if i do get bigger boobs!). However, I do want a family and along with the excitement of Joel coming, and the disappointment of not being able to meet him until June, is an odd feeling of slight jealousy........

Joel not yet aware that sleeping involves a shut mouth

So now we only have three weeks left in Brazil, and only one on the farm. I am going to spend mine painting a house and Xss will continue building one. There are now so many volunteers squahed in here that we more long term ones have enjoyed a few days of witnessing the new arrivalsBrazillia induction into n culture. Here are some clues as to how to spot a new arrival:
- They have large holes in their towels from dog attacks at night and not pinning their towel up high enough.
- They have an english red and white stripes pattern.
- They admit outloud that they dont like rice and beans (they´ll have to take this back later)
- They stroke the dogs. This results in a half an hour battle between them and the dog as the dog will try anything to get another stroke.
- They think its weird/unusual to be bitten by a Tic or an Ant, or a beatle or any type of bug.
- They dont know you have to hold the oven nobb down for over 30 seconds initially to keep it alight and keep letting go at lesser times.
- They ask, ´what does Jeff do?´
- They dont wear socks and flipflops yet
- They try to wear different clothes each day
- They eat something other than chicken noodles and frozen pizza
- They stand silently in front of Brazillian speakers as they realise they have no words to say that will be understood and then try to think of a back-up plan on the spot. (imagine the very begining of a charades game).

Work Reflections:

Since i will soon be leaving my job, I've been thinking back over the highlights of my time with the team. Following are my top 5 days:

1) The day we had an oil sick and our lives were put in minor peril.

I seem to have a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and consistently throughout my time i am ALWAYS up to something stupid when the head of our building walks into our room. On this occasion Rowl had knocked a bottle of olive oil on the floor in between our desks, which also doubles as the only way to access the other desks on the other side of the room (this is why giving us lunch rooms would actually be a good idea). We both looked at it glugging onto the carpet for a while before deciding to try and mope it with a paper towel. Little success, and by this stage Junior had wandered over. We then decided to wash it with soapy water, this now seems like a stupid idea, but I'm sure some sort of logic took place at the time. So Junior got down to wash it with a little bowl and cloth, and VT our managers manager wandered across. He helpfully observed the situation also whilst i made a sign to put on the floor near by (as it had become very slippery) stating that people needed to be careful as there was a risk of minor peril ahead. I then rejoined the observers and the big head manager unnoticed slipped in also. Once we had got over our positive encouragement and criticism of Juniors efforts we notice him and someone remarked how accurate this was of a council situation, one person working with 4 looking on and criticising and managing them!

2) The day when 9/11 almost happened again.

The quality of our equipment at work is questionable and whenever the fire alarm goes off you are dubious at best. I for one enjoy fire alarms as i have not grown up and come from the school of thought that if you hear a fire alarm you should shout/scream joyously, be very noisy, and run out the building in as silly a manner as possible, only after collecting anything you want to take with you and hitting save on your computer. On this particular day several people adopted my philosophies'; especially as the fire alarm would be fixed only for us to have to leave the building again ten minutes later. On the third time of this happening as we were slowly packing up and considering leaving the office for another jaunt outside, a colleague in all earnestness declared, 'Come on people! this is how 9/11 happened!'. This caused us great merriment to imagine that 9/11 could occur again in Peckham in a crappy 3 story social services office where people cannot be bothered to leave the office quickly on a fake fire alarm. I'm not sure many people died in 9/11 because they saw the planes crash into their office but stopped to press save on CareAssess before leaving.

3) The day we developed the box game and were caught on the brand new CCTV camera

New CCTV camera's were installed in the meeting rooms and we were given one of these rooms as an office for several days temporarily. Along with this temporary move, we had no computer access and so work was limited. We developed an awesome game where we hid something in the empty 30 boxes lying around the room and then time someone to find it. We played this game in as noisy and violent a manner as possible, forgetting all the while that these CCTV camera were hooked up. Once we realised we were being spied on we thought the easiest solution was to block the camera as there was no reason for them to be on us (there was no risk of client attack). We then (Junior- it is always Junior who leads me astray) thought we could remedy this by sticking a piece of paper over the camera, which we promptly did and thought nothing more of it. In typical council fashion however, they noticed and without coming to check they called in an engineer to fix it. Imagine our embarrassment when he came in, removed the piece of paper and charged the company a huge call out fee. They never did find out this was us.

4) The day N-Man's draws were reversed.

To deal with the boredom of our office sometimes little pranks get played along a theme and these escalate more and more until we get too busy to be creative, or think independently and have to return to the monotony of record making. On this occasion a theme of altering each others person draws below our desks was picked and several items moved around, draws swapped with other people or even made to look as if they had been emptied. The height of this enjoyment was when we turned around N-man's draws and drew on some lines and blue tacked on her key so it looked like to was the right way around. It was very funny when she spent a while trying to open her draws and then looked around embarrassed as she realised.

5) The day StaceyG told me i was boring.

I work with teenagers, and every now and again i like to think I'm good at it and that i really know how to understand them and get on their level. And then people like Stacey come along and put me straight. Once during, what i thought was a great session about feelings and dealing with emotions, Stacey stopped me mid activity AND sentence and innocently asked, 'Are we nearly finished yet? I'm bored'. Well i was stunned, and promptly wrapped up the session amid stuttering and stammering and embarrassment. That'll teach me for thinking I'm cool.

The Joys of Football.

Xss went to the football last night, Norwich verses Swindon with his father as they are both big fans. Making me a football widow. Not that i really mind. Especially because last night i had such a great time.

I made it home from work on time, and managed to see the whole of Neighbours (yes, it is the greatest show in the world) AND whom should be on it, not only Dr. Karl being great (the guy who plays him is a legend!) but Lily Allen too. I love neighbours for all its little quirks. My favourite is when there occurs a duplication of characters (they have a set 20 or so, ie. the funny guy, the simple comedy tradesman etc), and they point it out. When Joe Mangel met Joe Scully it was brilliant!

Anyways, so i watched Neighbours and did some washing before going out to a Kick boxing class. Now i have not been kickboxing for over 8 years, but it felt the same as before. My technique has not all gone, i can still train hard and i am encouraged to go again, regularly. It was also accompanied by the joy of overcoming an obstacle as it was a real challenge for me, even with my Colleague Rowl for company, to enter a strange gym, with lots of sweaty strange men and train. But we did it, we didn't stand out that much and everyone was really nice- and no, not just because we were hopeless girls! It made me realise how often in my line of work i encourage socially disadvantaged people to go along to something new, not recognising how hard this actually is.

Well, after showering at home i cooked a nice, healthy meal, whilst Ironing Xss's shirts, then got into a lovely soft bed, with my favourite American chocolate bar (imported by myself), Butterfinger, and watched a ridiculously girly movie with a hot water bottle at my feet. It was wonderful. We are so lucky to be able to surround ourselves with all our favourite smells, sounds, sights and feelings. I should co-ordinate these more often.

I went off to sleep feeling like an effective wife, an impowered female, and highly invested in.

The Island of Bed

My favourite moment of the day is the moments of darkness after i have got into bed at night. No matter what happened that day, no matter the tiredness, the rain, the overpowering work load or the stressful encounters with irate people, i always know i will end it all lying in my soft island paradise, in the dark, chatting with Xss.

Its almost like a perpetual sleepover; giggling, sharing stories and evaluating the day. In the dark you have to focus a lot more on people's voices, and you can hear every movement, its almost a more linear way to communicate. But always a time to feel safe, relaxed and calm in the knowledge that since its now sleep time, the next hassle must be at least 7 hours off.

I cant recommend this enough. The nicest way to end a day, and probably the reason why people say the route to a happy, long marriage is going to bed at the same time.

American Excitment

I'm going to America on Thursday and I'm sooooo excited. Really excited. America is a place which taught me all about 'family' when i moved there aged 18. It was the place i fled to, to escape my own home environment in Britain. The folk i ended up living with are just so great, a real family and i miss them so much when I'm not there.

The simple things I'm looking forward to are getting a hug from my mom, seeing Tim and being part of a wider family and community who are always receptive to me and always open armed! They accept me for who i am, inspire me to do better, and offer me a comfortable place to rest as myself.

Xss obviously does not enjoy these benefits quite as much as me ('whats her name again?' accompanied by an anxious look) so we will also be driving to Memphis to see the home of the King!!! yippee. I'm worried that this wont be quite as relaxing or breathtaking as last year when we drove to Yellowstone Park (Yogi wasn't home :( ), but it will be great to see more of the great cultural patchwork that is the USA!

I will probably gain a stone in weight also as i always over indulge in the food which fits my own personal culture better also- anything sweet, fattening or bad for you- I'm there!

The view from my drive in America!! ISnt it great, there's nothing but Corn!!!!!

P.S Brazilian farm has been in touch- the volunteers co-ordinator is sorting out personalised projects for myself and Xss to do. First Portuguese class tonight.

I Love my Team

I love my office. Its great, i wonder if anyone else gets as much joy from being at their desk than me. Working in the 'social sector' can be very stressful when you are dealing with clients and engaging in various conversations with multiple realities, i cant tell you the number of conversations i have been lost in but have nodded along blithely so that i can then progress to challenge their ideals and ask the questions i want.

well, anyways. The outcome of this, is that numerous alternatively weird and stupid conversations occur in the office, often to defelct from the depressingly sad experiences we have outside the office.

The latest entertainment has been to hide the draws under Nathali's desk. She has finally taken some from an empty desk after having a rather sad cardboard box under her desk which contained her notes and lunch foods combined. So with her overjoyed at 'graduating' to a dignified draw set (complete with stationary tray!) we have been entertaining ourselves with taking it and waiting to see how long it takes her to notice. The first time we put it back under the old desk, we were caught by her manager, to whom we explained that Nathali prefered her cardboard box and wanted to return to that system (tee hee). It took her only 9 minutes to notice.

The second time we turned the draws around and crudely drew on the back some draws and blue tacked the key near the spot it would sit, it looked pretty good if you ask me. This time it took Nathali only 22 minutes to notice. I was trying to stifle giggles the whole time so was very relieved.