Celebrating Starbucks

Oh, i love a Caramel Coffee Frappaccino, and on a cold day, a caramel Macchiato, but more than these I love Starbucks. All 6 years of her.

I don't love playing, 'whats that beeping noise?' with her. But i do love that she is curious and caring (she is very aware that a beeping noise could be bad news for her, but also other people). I love that she told her teacher that she knows she is top of the class, despite the fact she is not. I love that she likes riding her bike with me, and that she enjoys putting her top trumps in point order more than she does playing them. Apparently your eldest child is 90% you. (So much so that i am embarrassed to speak to her teachers incase they find out).

Lazy Boston Sunday

I'm always worried about going to a church I found through googling. The first time I did this I went to a very welcoming and kind baptist church in Minnesota. In contrast to my overly large death metal t-shirt and more holes than demin jeans, their young ladies were all wearing gentle ankle length skirts and modest head coverings. Although we worshipped the same God that morning, it was never going to be more than a second-cousins hello.

This morning we went to Holy Trinity church in Boston and it was home away from home. (Although all the women in this church were also better dressed than me, it wasn't so much due to Old Testament interpretation than scruffy being my style. (I generally dont dress up for church as God is 

everywhere and isn't fooled by my attempts at smartness when I attend the church building. It's hard to impress or fool someone who created you.) (also have you seen me try to look smart? I usually look like a 13 year old girl playing dress up, with trainers, always trainers).

Any who, the sermon was awesome today. Simple truths are just so effective at encouraging learning and change. The preacher focused on why Jesus ends many of his miraculous healings by telling the 

individual involved to I not tell anyone. Surely someone starting a new world religion would need the word spread as far as possible. But the preacher argued that Jesus was not starting a new powerful religion through thunder and lightning antics, but in a way that attempts to encourage us to engage in meaningful relationships with each other. Indeed isn't that how we learn most? Through those we are in relationship with. 

It refines a focus on life which I've been reviewing a lot lately: this could be it! Wouldn't it be great to 

say that you hadn't done something because you were too busy talking or hanging out with a friend? 

In an age of everything being punctuated by the regular checking of phones (not even just answering them when they seek out our attention), it is so important to me to spend the time I am with people, actually with them. But I do get too caught up on doing the housework and putting things in order, perhaps a messy house is not a bad symptom of being engaged in life with other people.

I guess for me I spend so much time with my girls and Xss that I need to consider them as people to be I fellowship with, not people to gain space from by hiding in the toilet with theiPad. 

• Make a rule, and pray to God to help you to keep it: Never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say. "I have made one human being, at least, a little wiser, a little happier, or a little better this day." - Charles Kingsley

 Starbucks and I spent a long time today playing in the frog pond park in Boston Common. For some reason she enjoys either putting the water out of the pool via a cup, or walking around on the side not actually going in. I feel that this is like carrying around a book but never opening it. I'm just jealous because I want to run in screaming and lay flat on my back in the middle. But I only had spare clothes for the children :(

Happy 4th July!

The stores had loads of red-white-blue clothes so I dressed them up, however not many other people dressed up and the day was sadly normal. The only part of the celebration seems to be fireworks at 22:30 which is too late for the girls :(

I thought quite a lot about whether I should keep them up/ take them out in carriers for the night, but what makes me happy in life is having happy well rested children. Good food and good sleep make for a happy me and them. We will catch the fireworks at bonfire night later in the year.

Plus apparently here in Boston people begin queuing at 6am for a good spot to see the fireworks. Erm, no.

Sisterly licking

Crazy golf

This week we are camping, in a cabin, at a campsite which has crazy golf, a swimming pool, a bouncy castle, and several climbing frames. It is heaven for Starbucks who has adopted a love for crazy golf. Since Cookie is happy to just sit on the course it's been nice to actually do a fun activity together as a family.  Although there appeared to be more obstacles on our course than others.

Who attacked me this morning?

I've forgotten two crucial things for this blog. 1) the battery charger for my camera and 2) the memory card thingy to upload photos via USB. So for the foreseeable future there will be no photos of our adventures. Sorry.

We arrived in White Creek, New York last night to stay in a beautiful converted school house. It has a massive open room stretching from kitchen, over the grand piano, sofa/lounge area to the old black board on the opposite wall.  It is quiet here, and VERY dark at night. I didn't realise that I had adapted to urban living so well as when I turned the light off last night and experienced such a darkness it seemed to absorb me.

There is a rooster around. Last night Xss shooed him away, but as I think I am superior to him in understanding animal behaviour (one of my numerous random superiority complexes - don't get me started on breeds of dog, or which way is north), when he described the chicken as 'mental' I thought he was over reacting. So this morning when it came over near the swing set as Starbucks climbed on, I simply thought it was curious and generally ignored it. Suddenly it darted at Starbucks and began attacking her, pecking her backside and scratching at her. She was obviously terrified and screamed, trying to run away as this giant bird chased her. It didn't seem at all perturbed by me trying to kick it and shouting at it. I began screaming 'help' as loud as I could. Hahah. What I scene. This event has obviously made a big impression on Starbucks and in her usual way she has been digesting it all morning.

It's become slightly comical now as the mother of the person whose house we are in, (airbnb) began texting me to help and became labelled 'the chickens mum' in translation to the 3 year old. Then the chickens owner became involved and he has become the chickens dad. I'm not sure if these human characters have made it even more confusing. Eventually after the police and animal control being called (I think Starbucks is secretly delighted that the police have been contacted to tell the chicken off, but is as of yet unwilling to give up her victim card) the chickens father pulled up with the chicken sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He said he is fed up with the chicken being naughty and he was taking it to a farm. I think the inference was that he doesn't care about what happens to it, and has been letting it run wild a while. Problem solved. Calm has been restored to New England, the naughty chicken is gone.

I'm happy my children are safer, but there is really not much to do in White Creek now the naughty chicken is gone.

P.s when I woke up, correction, when I was woken up this morning by Cookie, as I settled her back to sleep in the early morning grey I saw two deer a few mets from my window frolicking. This being our first airbnb experience, is it normal to not have any curtains in the whole house?

Happy Birthday Starbucks!!!

Starbucks is 3. I am a little sad. She was a genius for a two year old, at least for the last few weeks. Now she is a distinctly average 3 year old. Soon she will be 5 and at school and those kinds of children seem pretty boring to me. No offence if you are 5 and managing to read this.

 Trouser wearing is optional in our home....

 So is t-shirts (this theme has prompted a 'you must wear pants at the dinner table' rule)

 monkeying around

 Sitting as close to her birthday bike as possible throughout breakfast

 Enjoying her birthday song. Mr Tumble inspired cake

It even had spots inside. Get In, This is one way i can show my kids i love them!

Happy Red Nose Day!

Nose sponsored by Bibi's father*

*first epic fail as a parent (other than the innumerable times that i have failed to stop her crying) when we searched 5 different supermarkets the night before and couldn't find one.

Happy Christmas

Starbucks dressed as a sheep for the nativity play.

My mother-in-law wanted her to dress as an angel, but she insisted on a sheep. I was so proud, but so was Starbucks!

Smile, and the whole world judges you

How i have missed writing on here. I've been busy revising and taking my law exam - i guess i could have put a note on here explaining that. But now i'm done, and am free to type as much as i want, small baby permitting.

Todays topic is smiling.

My colleague remarked on Tuesday that Starbucks is a 'smiley kid', which is true. She has always been a happy baby, and wherever i took her she would smile at people, and they would like her.

This is Starbucks smiling:

When Starbucks smiles, its a knowing look, like she has this world in her hand. She has an agenda that she is not necessarily going to let on. She is in control, she is assertive and confident and pleased with who she is, and what she can do. She smiles at me as if to say, 'you fool, you think you're in control?'

This is not fact. This is opinion.

This is my interpretation of her smile, my sentiment towards my first baby whom i had no idea what to do with, but felt like she knew all along but didn't tell me. This is the first person in the world to make me a certain kind of happy inside. Perhaps she smiles because she is happy, but that seems to simple for Starbucks clever little mind.

This led me to realise that i interpret (and yes interpret - although if i label her like this enough I might make it become self-actualising- a child lives up to the expectations put upon them), Cookie's smile in a whole different way.

Cookie smiles like this:

Cookie has the smile of an imbecile. I look at her smiling and think, 'oh you poor little baby, you don't really get whats going on do you'. The jokes on her, she is naive and foolish, smiling at a time when she is yet to realise how dark and weird the world actually is.

odd how i interpret them both so differently. Im glad that i am now aware of this, and can try not to look down on Cookie as foolish quite so much. But what other assumptions have i made about this 3 month old baby that i am not aware of. I've just got to hope that my children are very forgiving when they grow up to be who i'm labeling them as. Perhaps they are labeling me in a similar way. What a silly mummy.

Introducing COOKIE!!! The monster is here

Weighing in in the red corner at 9 lbs 6 oz is Cookie. Welcome to the world baby girl.

Surely this cant be a new born!? Thank God it was a C- Section after all!

Starbucks has to be reminded to share the baby with everyone. If she had her way she would be the only person allowed to hold Cookie.

Fat face.

Greece is the word

We went on holiday to Greece! People want to know if we had a nice time and if we would recommend it. This is now a really challenging question, now that we have a small person that follows us around and makes her feelings very evident at every occasion. In a nutshell if she's happy, we are.
The facts are:
1) The sea was VERY clear and the beaches pretty

2) We managed to find loads of local beaches (15 minutes drive away) that were only about 40 metres long and had two handfuls of people on. Mostly locals.

3) The food was nice, but very baked. We ate a lot of hot food, with the only alternative seeming to be Greek salad (which is nice, but not every meal).

4) Chania is a pretty town with a lot of tourists in it. Great places to eat, drink and people watch but not much else interesting.

5) Chania has a Starbucks which does sell Mocha Cookie Crumble Frapacinno's
6) The sun feels good warming your skin wherever it is warm.

7) Starbucks (the 2 year old) enjoyed paddling in the water and continually filling up her bucket and emptying as if there was a purpose to watering the beach. We enjoyed sitting in the shallow water while she did this, talking.
8) There was a lot of graffiti, and not political slogans or social commentary, but tagging?

I had a nice time. Nice is the word. Would i go back? Yeah. But i have a child now, so adventuring into far off places is currently on hold.

It's a boy thing

Typical that a moan would drive me back to here, but that's who I am.

Todays topic. Gender labels. again.

Today's annoying comment - 'you know boys don't sit still long enough to learn at this age (2-3)'.

No. Now I am obviously biased as I only have a girl, and perhaps I'll have to eat my hat if I ever get a boy but I cant help notice that in my life there are numerous negative labels associated with boys, and dismissed because 'it's just a boy thing'.

I tried to be accommodating to this comment, given in reference to the fact that Starbucks can now identify a letter 'e' anywhere and will regularly scour billboards and signs looking for an 'e', before pointing it out to anyone who'll listen. This is apparently in advance of boys of her age and older (the one this person was referring to is over a year older), as they are too busy running around to learn 'academic' things like this.

I don't buy it. And I think it is unfair. When I think about it Starbucks did not learn the letter 'e' from sitting down at the table with me reading books. She learnt it through billboards, she learnt it through stories and she learnt it through play doh stamps. Today in the lift we talked about the numbers 2 and 4. (she also knows the number 2 - apparently it is 'my [her] number') as we counted up when the numbers in the lift changed. progressing to the 4th floor. We talk about numbers when we count how many strawberries she is allowed at dinner, we talk about numbers when we try to identify what bus is coming, and we are beginning to learn to add when she gets 'one more' throw over the sofa, or 'one more' run around the house before bed. Starbucks doesn't really sit still either, as I believe is normal for most 2 year olds.

So unless these boys I hear of do not eat food, go in lifts, see any billboards, go on buses, run around the house, use play doh, listen to stories at night or jump off the back of their sofa, I don't see why most cannot learn in a manner similar to Starbucks.

The flip side of these comments is not only are they negative for the boys, but also for the girls. No need to praise them, girls just love to sit quietly and learn numbers and letters!

Other annoying comments:
'girls are just naturally obedient aren't they?'
'I didn't get Starbucks a car, I got her a hair clip instead so she can look pretty'

Team Ambition

Last night was my work Christmas do. It was fun, but I left at 8pm when the last 7 started dancing and being so drunk that when they weren't dancing they were happy to sit in a chair staring into space. It was great to start making new friends at work as I have been pretty lonely there for a while. I learnt a lot about my new team mates, and what impressed me was some of their life dreams. Ones' was to cycle around the world! He even had a plan on how to do it. Another was into extreme sports, which got me thinking, 'well, I'd quite like to do a skydive if the chance ever presented itself'. And that's where my mistake lies. How is this chance ever going to present itself (to be fair I'm not sure I could actually go through with this) but if you don't seek it out, adventures rarely fall in your lap.

If I want to be the sort of person who has a tea pot, I've gotta go out and buy it!!! New years resolution, buy a teapot. That's genuine. However, I also really want to build a family home out of storage contains, or an old bus. How do I start that happening?

 

 

If you want a Happyland empire, you got get it out the box and build it! (and if you're really creative throw in a box of passata for an abstract element).

 

26/52 Happy? I CAN create an adventure next year. 

The 13 sins of Starbucks

1. Starbucks wakes up and emanates the most annoying sound known to man from her cot. Its a cross between deep breathing and a car with a broken exhaust sound, she makes it continually without break until she sees someone. She gets collected from her cot with a warm greeting and deposited into our bed with the hope that one day she will lay there and go back to sleep for a few hours. snug.
2. After 30 seconds laying there Starbucks begins shouting. Its probably not shouting, but when you've not heard anything for 8 hours, its definitely louder than anything you want to hear. 'Mummy, mummy, daddy' accompanied by pointing labelling you.
3. After having had it reaffirmed that no-one name has changed over night she stands up unsteadily on the pillows and begins looking at the books on the shelf above our head. She grabs one, but its so heavy it falls from her grip and hits Xss on the head. aahh! (we remain laying down as long as possible to maximise energy savings settings).
4. Starbucks finds this new reaction funny and continues to make her own 'aahh!' noise. She drops another book onto our pillows while shouting 'aahh' in a hope that we will also make the noise again. Time to get out of the danger zone, thus forced to get up
5. On entering the kitchen Starbucks pushes the chair over to her highchair and climbs in (a handy new trick). She then spends a while thinking about what cereal she wants while the wheatabix or corn flakes are placed in front of her. She points to the wheatabix box but then makes a loud shouting noise when you try to get it out. She wants corn flakes. I apologise and try to serve her corn flakes, to which she shouts, 'NO'. She wants Wheatabix but not for me to touch the packet.
6. I try to allow her to get it out, but there's A LOT of pressure in those small fingers and all she does is chip the wheatabix into crumbs that proceed to get stuck over her PJ's. (they don't wash out either for some reason).
7. She then wont let me put her bib on. i remove her breakfast from reach and a stand off ensues, before she calmly agrees to let me put it on after all.
8. I give her a cup of water, which she puts her spoon in to stir. She then begins to try to drink it using her spoon and it spills over her chair. I have to dry everything off with a cloth.
9. She finishes eating her cereal and begins drinking the milk from the bowl. However the only part of this she has mastered is putting the bowl to her mouth height. She pours the milky wheatabix cement down her front, the chair and the floor/wall. She is satisfied that she has done an adult thing and smiles.
10. As i bend down under the table to wipe this all up she patronisingly pats me on the head. Wheatabix hair, a great look I'm beginning to perfect for work.
11. I take Starbucks to the bathroom to wash her hands and do her teeth. She stands on the table next to the sink and labels the toothbrushes, 'mummy, dadddy'. She chooses her own and demands paste and water on it. I do mine at the same time to save time. As i spit into the bowl Starbucks stops brushing and pokes at my spit with her finger. I tell her not to.
12. So she does it again and then hurriedly eats it.
13. I promptly wash the spit away and continue. As i try to continue spitting out toothpaste and stopping Starbucks from touching it i accidentally spit on her head as she leans into the way.
I continue to try to sound chirpy, but she's only been awake 20 minutes.

25/52 Happy? More often than not, I don't care about all these things happening to me. Just go with it. It's only going to get worse when/if we have more.

Love affair with a ....safe?

23/52 Happy? That a safe can be such a great toy.

Weird baby stuff....

i thought i'd share this, as i personally thought i was going mad:

Two Christmas's ago, Xss and I went to see Arthur Christmas the movie. It was great, I love a good Christmas themed animation, during this film I felt Starbucks move for the first time. It was a little underwhelming, but undoubtedly I had felt an unborn person pushing me around from the inside.

Although I have all the outward signals that I am not pregnant (periods, no bump (well a small chocolate eating bump) I was half certain that I must be pregnant, and at least 4 months along, as I would often feel a baby moving inside of me again. Interestingly this is a common phenomenon! Luckily, I am not secretly pregnant despite being able to feel another human being in my abdomen!

Theories about why this might be include- being more aware of this sensation of your womb moving and recognising this now despite it having happened pre-pregnancy as well, wombs taking longer to contract than previously thought and these movements being my womb still shrinking down to its pre-stretched size... whatever the reason, it was so good to read that I was not going mad, nor permanently 4 months pregnant, although having such s small bump so far along would be brilliant.

Another joy of pregnancy, feeling an imaginary baby pushing you around for years after the actual event!

21/52 Happy? Not being pregnant and having another human being stuffed into my belly.

Is that my skinny grande caramel machaito?

Is there anything more embarrassing than ordering a drink at Starbucks, collecting it at the other end of the til, then finding out that it is not quite correct, taking it back to the cashier who confirms that it is not what you ordered, and as you debate this, your actual drink arrives at the collection point, and you have face the person who's drink you've wandered around the shop with?

18/52 Happy? That this only happens once a month or so. :)

Joys of our childhoods

I like making dens. I innately try to encourage Starbucks into everything I like, therefore she has begun loving den's too. Our latest one is made of sheets spread over the clothes horse. She has spent the last few days decanting our cupboard into the tent den and then arranging and rearranging. It's so cute to see.

Stocking up on the festival necessities.

 Other things i like to encourage her to do - climbing into the duvet in between the cover and the actual duvet (a mysterious twilight world), jumping on anything she can (sofa, bed, table-opps), splashing in the bath, making things out of cardboard boxes, listening to Guns 'n' Roses, patting people on the head when they have done well (a great air of condescension when done by a baby), being held upside down, swinging her around while holding her hands, going down the biggest slides that we can find! [Its annoying that your default line for parenting comes from your own experience, even if you think that much of your own childhood wasn't great. If i continue to recreate my own childhood for Starbucks it's not going to be pretty later on. ]

15/52 Happy? Squashed in a tiny den with my daughter while she rearranged her bottles of beer and onions.

That girl thing

I've had a girl baby. We'll I've had one for over a year now. One of the more interesting (academically) concepts to arise from this is 'does gender exist separate from society?' Not sex, but gender. I hate pink. I also consider myself to have been raised by a gang of boys (and i mean gang in the old fashioned sense, so a tight knot group of friends that hangout a lot- not the modern word that adults bandy about now days when they are scared). Needless to say raising a girl is an issue for me, i think? I was really disappointed when i heard she was a girl, yes, i freely admit it, as i can freely admit that i am now more than 100% happy that she was a girl and not a boy. girl = mummy's friend, boy = future silverback. See, i have already done it! stereotyped gender!

Sometimes when Starbucks is good people will say, 'ah, it's because she's a girl'. I find it INCREDIBLY annoying. What so girls are good and boys are bad, my parenting has no influence??

Anyways, i have always tried to dress Starbucks in anything but pink, with the result being that most people think she is a boy. I thought it might be fun to include some pictures of her clothes here so you can decide for yourself if i am dressing her like a boy.

( These photos are all the same way around on my computer?) Boys or girls?

 Boys or girls? Dinosaur and combat colours?

 Black long sleeve?

 The most girly we go. It's got slight frills on the arms and its a cat

 Boys?

 My favourite band. Surely black is unisex?

Cookie!! but blue is a 'boys colour?

I'd be interested to know your thoughts, but when i go through this, i think most of these items are boys. Does that mean that Dinosaurs, 1980's clothing, stripes and combat are all only for boys. If so, what do girls like? shoes and cats? curious.

11/52 Happy? That i am a girl. I can grow humans!