Cookie is free!

Cookies birthday!

Unbelievably Cookie is now 1. 

More shocking than that she is, in her mothers biased opinion, unbelievably clever. She is not only walking but carrying chairs around to rearrange the furniture. She climbs ladders and goes down slides by herself, she takes thing to the correct room if you ask her to, she steals your breakfast when you are not looking, and she signs please and thank you.

I cannot get over the delight of having two such very different girls who offer such different things to our little family/team. Cookie, you are funny, and boisterous and loud and affectionate and we love you!

 Since she likes eating yellow crayons so much i made some edible chocolate ones.

 Positively apprehensive about turning one. 

studious. Next week she will be equally dividing food.

Happy 4th July!

The stores had loads of red-white-blue clothes so I dressed them up, however not many other people dressed up and the day was sadly normal. The only part of the celebration seems to be fireworks at 22:30 which is too late for the girls :(

I thought quite a lot about whether I should keep them up/ take them out in carriers for the night, but what makes me happy in life is having happy well rested children. Good food and good sleep make for a happy me and them. We will catch the fireworks at bonfire night later in the year.

Plus apparently here in Boston people begin queuing at 6am for a good spot to see the fireworks. Erm, no.

Sisterly licking

Crazy golf

This week we are camping, in a cabin, at a campsite which has crazy golf, a swimming pool, a bouncy castle, and several climbing frames. It is heaven for Starbucks who has adopted a love for crazy golf. Since Cookie is happy to just sit on the course it's been nice to actually do a fun activity together as a family.  Although there appeared to be more obstacles on our course than others.

Bearfoot Adventures

Cookie is a bit too young for travelling. Or perhaps the perfect age, she doesn't have many complaints. So long as she is fed and slept. Now we are travelling the world us her playground. Luckily because our first apartment in New Jersey was so dirty we quickly became accustomed to a lower level of cleanliness than before. Wherever we go she us put on the ground and allowed to crawl around.

Piano playing

Who knew that our first airbnb venture was to have a grand piano in it! Cookie loved playing it.

New York wasn't my thing

New York wasn't my thing. We saw many great buildings but found it hard to really get under it's skin. We ate hot dogs, we saw the Empire State Building, we picnicked in Central Park but we didn't really engage with New Yorkers.

To be fair we stayed in New Jersery and got the tube (PATH - Pronounced paff don't be fooled) in each day, to save money ( when I say save money I mean be able to afford to visit) so we didn't exactly live in a NY neighbourhood and get to know how they work. We did enjoy our stay in Jersery city, but Xss susinctly labelled it the Croyden of New York. Regional offices and a functional area lacking personality. We did manage to make friends with the local Starbucks staff and Starbucks was a hit, giving high fives to the regular staff she knew. But some aspects of America are hard for me to take. It's unusual for us to have a mature adult working in an entry
Level service industry job, and it makes me sad how hard some american have to work to support their families with so little leave for so little pay.



I'm having issues with uploading photos (in that I forgot several gadgets and things in Britain) but I'll upload pictures soon. Cookie has two new top teeth so has been waking up a lot at night, but it's not really a problem when you are on holiday everyday is it.

Christening Cookie

It's taken me oh-so-long to really accept that Cookie is not Starbucks. Or more concisely, that I don't have a clue how to look after a baby, I only know how to look after my baby, Starbucks. Cookie is a whole different person, and despite her being my second baby there have been more times than I can count when I've been completely at a loss as to how to stop her crying. In public. On two occasions other mothers have taken her from me to try and settle her.

It's been a much harder journey than I envisaged with Cookie. I thought two babies might mean double the work, less time to myself and a much messier house. But these were the least of my worries. Two babies means letting go of that cherished relationship with your first born. It means never feeling adequate when there is no solution to impossible situations, it means not being a 'perfect' mother to either child, it means betraying the intimate relationship you built up when you have to stand up for the gooseberry that turns up and cries interrupting private moments - even though you feel the intrusion too.

And although I feel like I've finally accepted this and found a way through it, i doubt i have. I have managed to scrounge moments with both my daughters without the other around. during nap time, after bedtime, or whilst Xss is looking after somebody. But i am yet to work out a harmonious way for us all to be perfectly content as a three for long.

But the relationship between the siblings is crazy to witness. There is such strong love between the girls already. They have moments together that could not have been created by a friend or parent, only a sibling. They are a pair.

I do love Cookie. Sometimes i struggle to like her, but i certainly love her. I love that she smells like a wet dog when she is dribbling (MY wet dog), that she has the most brilliant smile. She smells like partially baked cookies when gently warmed. She has a can do attitude, life is so exciting to her so she never wants to sleep, she is certainly her own person, and often thinks that she is funny. So we had a Christening to celebrate the gift that she is to us. Thank God for Cookie!

Starbucks: I've certainly changed a little lately. This dress is positively almost pink!!

Ok. So taking photos whilst taking part in the Christening sort of detracts from the moment, so these are post Christening in our garden.

Every time when i am just about to shout to Starbucks to stop, i catch Cookie smiling. Here she is enjoying being abused in her homemade cape

 Whats the word for this expression on Starbucks' face?

 I made the cape very pointy. I love it. no half measures here.

Trying to find out whats going on where she is not...

 She's off

Smile, and the whole world judges you

How i have missed writing on here. I've been busy revising and taking my law exam - i guess i could have put a note on here explaining that. But now i'm done, and am free to type as much as i want, small baby permitting.

Todays topic is smiling.

My colleague remarked on Tuesday that Starbucks is a 'smiley kid', which is true. She has always been a happy baby, and wherever i took her she would smile at people, and they would like her.

This is Starbucks smiling:

When Starbucks smiles, its a knowing look, like she has this world in her hand. She has an agenda that she is not necessarily going to let on. She is in control, she is assertive and confident and pleased with who she is, and what she can do. She smiles at me as if to say, 'you fool, you think you're in control?'

This is not fact. This is opinion.

This is my interpretation of her smile, my sentiment towards my first baby whom i had no idea what to do with, but felt like she knew all along but didn't tell me. This is the first person in the world to make me a certain kind of happy inside. Perhaps she smiles because she is happy, but that seems to simple for Starbucks clever little mind.

This led me to realise that i interpret (and yes interpret - although if i label her like this enough I might make it become self-actualising- a child lives up to the expectations put upon them), Cookie's smile in a whole different way.

Cookie smiles like this:

Cookie has the smile of an imbecile. I look at her smiling and think, 'oh you poor little baby, you don't really get whats going on do you'. The jokes on her, she is naive and foolish, smiling at a time when she is yet to realise how dark and weird the world actually is.

odd how i interpret them both so differently. Im glad that i am now aware of this, and can try not to look down on Cookie as foolish quite so much. But what other assumptions have i made about this 3 month old baby that i am not aware of. I've just got to hope that my children are very forgiving when they grow up to be who i'm labeling them as. Perhaps they are labeling me in a similar way. What a silly mummy.

Introducing COOKIE!!! The monster is here

Weighing in in the red corner at 9 lbs 6 oz is Cookie. Welcome to the world baby girl.

Surely this cant be a new born!? Thank God it was a C- Section after all!

Starbucks has to be reminded to share the baby with everyone. If she had her way she would be the only person allowed to hold Cookie.

Fat face.