Lazy Boston Sunday

I'm always worried about going to a church I found through googling. The first time I did this I went to a very welcoming and kind baptist church in Minnesota. In contrast to my overly large death metal t-shirt and more holes than demin jeans, their young ladies were all wearing gentle ankle length skirts and modest head coverings. Although we worshipped the same God that morning, it was never going to be more than a second-cousins hello.

This morning we went to Holy Trinity church in Boston and it was home away from home. (Although all the women in this church were also better dressed than me, it wasn't so much due to Old Testament interpretation than scruffy being my style. (I generally dont dress up for church as God is 

everywhere and isn't fooled by my attempts at smartness when I attend the church building. It's hard to impress or fool someone who created you.) (also have you seen me try to look smart? I usually look like a 13 year old girl playing dress up, with trainers, always trainers).

Any who, the sermon was awesome today. Simple truths are just so effective at encouraging learning and change. The preacher focused on why Jesus ends many of his miraculous healings by telling the 

individual involved to I not tell anyone. Surely someone starting a new world religion would need the word spread as far as possible. But the preacher argued that Jesus was not starting a new powerful religion through thunder and lightning antics, but in a way that attempts to encourage us to engage in meaningful relationships with each other. Indeed isn't that how we learn most? Through those we are in relationship with. 

It refines a focus on life which I've been reviewing a lot lately: this could be it! Wouldn't it be great to 

say that you hadn't done something because you were too busy talking or hanging out with a friend? 

In an age of everything being punctuated by the regular checking of phones (not even just answering them when they seek out our attention), it is so important to me to spend the time I am with people, actually with them. But I do get too caught up on doing the housework and putting things in order, perhaps a messy house is not a bad symptom of being engaged in life with other people.

I guess for me I spend so much time with my girls and Xss that I need to consider them as people to be I fellowship with, not people to gain space from by hiding in the toilet with theiPad. 

• Make a rule, and pray to God to help you to keep it: Never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say. "I have made one human being, at least, a little wiser, a little happier, or a little better this day." - Charles Kingsley

 Starbucks and I spent a long time today playing in the frog pond park in Boston Common. For some reason she enjoys either putting the water out of the pool via a cup, or walking around on the side not actually going in. I feel that this is like carrying around a book but never opening it. I'm just jealous because I want to run in screaming and lay flat on my back in the middle. But I only had spare clothes for the children :(

This is how we know what love is- Perhaps what i should have told Lovely.

My starting point for understanding the principle of Christianity is this story:

 Imagine a pedestrian crossing your local residential road, tree lined street, houses everywhere, steps out in front of a car. It's an inevitable fatality but a middle aged man on the pavement sees. He takes decisive action, darts out from between two parked cars and shoves the pedestrian firmly to the side (and safety) but has no time to move his feet and save himself. He turns to face the oncoming driver  calmly accepting his fate and dies.

Now imagine that the pedestrian is a teenager, dressed in gang colours and darts in front of the car as he is running away from a mugging with an old woman's hand bag. The man does exactly the same thing. Perhaps he doesn't know what this lad has done? Say the pedestrian Is a girl, she's shouting on her phone while crossing the road, she sees the man looking at her and shouts out, 'what you looking at you Fucking Paedo?' He saves her from the car and dies.

Lastly, imagine the man knew all about the pedestrian. Perhaps he's psychic or something, a time traveler bespoke to their life. When the pedestrian goes to cross the road he knows all the bad things he has already done, he knows the hatred and racism in his heart, he knows what he will do with his life -nothing, and he knows that immediately after he dies saving his life today the pedestrian will accuse him of being the most evil person he's ever met, calling him 'fame-hungry' and 'disingenuine'. The pedestrian will claim that he managed to save himself from the cars path (but can't explain why this man is lying dead on the road), and nobody cares thanks to his carry on. Knowing all this, the man still steps in the road to save him and face certain death.

The man is Jesus. The pedestrians us. Imagine starting your life knowing that someone loves you so much that they died for you. Even if you never acknowledge it, even if you never become the best person you can, even if you never manage to have a career, or cheat on every partner you have. Even if you have a life time of stories that could get you on the Jeremy Kyle show.

How would you feel if somebody died for you? Knowing you intimately, bad bits and all. He did it, and loves you despite whatever reaction you give.

One of my favourite verses in the bible is Romans 5:7-8.
'7 It is a difficult thing for someone to die for a righteous person. It may even be that someone might dare to die for a good person. 8 But God has shown us how much he loves us - it was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us'

In anticipation of our reaction to this news, the bible also challenges us to, 'Be still and know that I am God' (Psalm 46:10). Accept the above and know that many things in life are inevitable, you cannot change them, you cannot change God loving you, or the person he made you, so go with the flow rather than fight your way through on your own.

October Womenhood - Gentleness

My principle aim when i went on maternity leave was to spend some time each week with other Christian women learning from the bible. I began looking when i was pregnant and failed at the first hurdle when the leader from a very academic church in the city, politely met me for coffee (I paid) in a posh cafe, and went on to say i was not welcome to attend her group until i was well established at their church. hmph. i'm not moving churches.

My quest improved and i attended several different groups, until eventually Lorax and I started our own group at our church. This was brilliant and i learnt a lot from her, our babies seemed to become friends, as much as a baby can like anyone else who doesn't recognise their ultimate authority. Lorax left last week :( but before she went she gave me a book. 'A Year of Biblical Womanhood' by Rachel Held Evans. I am so excited to read it. In this book Rachel details her attempts to live a year according to biblical rules about being a women. What a challenge, and what is the point?

 Starbucks struggling to engage with Hope who would not recognise her authority on what part of the blanket to sit on.

It seems ridiculous to obey some parts of the bible, but not the bits you don't want to. So I'm encouraged to think about rising to the challenge. She tried to obey some commandments for the whole year, but others she just did for a month (thank God, one of the rules is living in a tent when you have your period) The first month she focused on 'Gentleness'. In specific, a good wife should:

Cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Immediately challenging. Does kick boxing, arguing for the oppressed and shouting along to rock music constitute a 'gentle and quiet spirit?' Are all these behaviours inconsistent with being a Christian? God made us unique. I used to worry that I shouldn't kickbox, that perhaps it wasn't right to a) hit people in the face (even with gloves on) or b) practice the best ways to hurt people quickest on a weekly basis. But for numerous reasons I think God wants me to kickbox. what a statement!

However, i do believe that it is ever so powerful and self-fulfilling to be at one with yourself. To be quiet inside your soul. I think this comes from knowing who you are and resting assured in that. Not constantly spending your life defining yourself by comparing yourself to other people, or doing things that prove your worth. I think this is most peoples biggest problem (mine included- although it's easier to analyse others). The sexiest person i know sleeps with lots of boys to prove that she is sexy, when she could just walk outside with unbrushed hair in tracksuit bottoms and her sexiness would show through.

So i think there is truth and meaning in this verse, but i'm not convinced that it means that all women should not shout. I think it means all women should believe in themselves and their unique value. There are some great role models of women in the bible, and they did not sit around knitting and making dinner.

19/52 Happy?  Knowing who i am. Today i drove home from Kickboxing in a tiny yellow car, singing along to Guns 'n' Roses (Use your illusion 2) really loud. I don't care if all the business people in suits saw me and thought i haven't made it in this world as i wasn't driving an Audi TT and listening to Noah and the Whale. If i could, i wouldn't. This is who i am. Also i like pigeons and wearing shoes with big tongues! This is my quiet spirit.

This tongues are not big enough, but i had to compromise as we were travelling.

Church Love

I love my church because it is diverse, very diverse. Economically, culturally, racially and socially.

Recently i had a headache (long story around me never having had a headache before, going to A&E, being diagnosed as having a headache, being informed i had to eat the tablets they gave me without knowing what they are then returning home, humbled, embarrassed and ever so thankful that there is free health care in England) and could not attend church. I had lunch plans with someone after church so politely text her saying, 'i do not feel very well, i will be unable to attend our meeting today, sorry. Please forward me the notes'.

And why our church is socially diverse:
She replied, 'oh, we prayed for you. I hope it is nothing as serious as an ectopic pregnancy'.
I am not sure what the correct response to that is. 'no'?

The next week she cancelled our meeting stating that she had to meet Chris after church. ' Sorry to cancel but i have to meet Chris after church today and he has a way of explaining things in great detail'.

Lastly, One of Starbucks' Godmothers gave us a belated birthday present for her recently. It was a white fur coat, unusual, but kinda cool. As i got it out the bag, it seemed to get bigger and bigger. Then i tried it on, and it fitted me. The label inside says "34". Although i find it funny, and not a problem, i am still left wondering what to do. Do i make Starbucks wear it to church one week? How do i get it to stay on? Do i try and take a photo of her wearing it and show the Godmother, or do i just give it to a charity shop and never mention it again? Oh the joys of a socially diverse church.

13/52 Happy? Knowing such a variety of people

Happy Easter Everyone.

I know preaching at people is not cool, and i know that as an adult most people have already decided what they think about God. But in case there is some room for change in your opinions:

God Loves you.
Through his death Jesus made a statement; has said that he will stand up for you when you meet God at the end of the day and have to account for the things you have not done in your life. He believes you are worth dying for, even if you continue to do wrong or never even acknowledge it. There is no greater love than this.

If nothing else believe that Jesus showed us how to live a life full of love; and he wasn't always wandering around clapping his hands joyfully, telling everyone off in a patronising manner.

Happy Easter. I hope you know you are loved.

Starbucks and her friend Hope, acting out the scene when Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene after his death. From their facial expressions you can really tell that they have got into character! Ah what a great life it is not having to work and having no outlet for our creative energy.

Uses #104 & #105 for a muslin cloth!