Do they know its my towel set they are eating?

Since we've been back from travelling i feel like a millionaire. This is mostly because i now realise that i no longer have to save every month for travelling and less to do with actually having the money.

In combination with this, and my increased world awareness through being able to access the news on a daily basis recently; (In fact sometimes the news seems like a relief from my overly depressing job.) I am now unfortunately aware of the massive and overwhelming drought in East Africa (perhaps the worst for 60 years). Now i studied development studies in order to change the world, i learnt a lot during my time but really all it did was politicise everything and make even the most basic things, like a right to water, a battlefield of characters so self important and crucial to the world, that choosing anyone to champion change would also result in utter destruction for everyone or everything else.

But what to do about these poor starving people? Politic agendas and long term solutions aside, i just want to put my life on hold, fly out there and get a truck to drive them all to those crappy refuge camps. Its hard to comprehend the desperation of these people to walk 7 days without food and water with a final destination which uncannily resembles Glastonbury festival permanently existing with all those pill-poppers and partiers hemmed in by large metal fences and no flushing toilets, hand washing facilities and all there is to do is sit in piles of dirt and rubbish and wait for the unsanitary conditions and lack of food to eat you alive. In June up to 30,000 people were arriving at these refugee camps a week, and queuing to get in. These people are desperate to get into these fetid conditions because they are better than where they live with no rain.

I desperately want to help- but how much so you ask? Well, i feel like i should give every penny i have to them (mortgage and bills excluded) and perhaps that will buy my soul some peace. This would also mean a sacrifice of my longed for matching towel set (white for Xss and Grey for me): Which i can live with, well without. But this sacrifice seems silly as i will simply use next months pay to get them, and then feel bad; which is what led to many a ridiculous situation before we went travelling where i never buy said item at all, because i feel so bad that i can live such a stupidly privileged life that i do that i can buy things that match when i have perfectly functioning items already. So should i just never buy them, or buy them now with the starving peoples money? The end result is the same.

I guess one solution is to get my friends (say 4 of them with £11 each) to buy these new towels for me, and then i will have not wasted any money on them. But then again, if i have the power to convince my friends to give money away, i really should be encouraging them to give it to a charity that benefits the famine victims.

So as always, i wont buy them, I'll wait for some 'bonus' money to come along that cannot be given to charity for some bizarre reason. The money i am giving is going to either the Red Cross or the DEC, both of whom are great at getting the infrastructures set up very quickly and providing immediate relief for these people for whom each day counts. My towels can wait. Think about if you can spare any money, it really will save lives.

Nothing changes but you

I'm at home, in my flat, in my room, on my worn out old cumbersome computer (Rocky is his name) with my old bed covers and old radio alarm clock blaring out in red numbers that it is almost bed time. The windows next to the bed are still dusty and there are signs that the rain still seeps in under the window when the right angle of wind is teamed with a certain tenacity of rainfall. This allows a significant puddle to pool on the ledge, before occasionally plummeting to the floor in organised groups leaving a wet puddle near the bed in the carpet. But none of this is new, and although they are old problems that need fixing, none of these issues seem to be as pressing this week, the first in our flat, as THE towels.

Some people might label this 'nesting' or 'girlification' or simply just 'growing up', but really its just logic. It dawned on me as i was getting out of my first shower back in the flat, that the faded, flat, slightly mouldy smelling towel i was about to dry myself on was not as nice as the towels we were using when away. Not only was it worse than the towels in the lovely hotels we stayed in at the end, but it was even worse than the towels in the grubby hostels we had been staying in for $7 a night! Now i want new ones, ones in which visitors to our house will not have to think, 'well, its ugly but functional' but will actually enjoy using! I want matching towels, in two different colours, which match the paint work. And enough of them that we no longer need the towel with all the swimming badges sewn on down the side as back up. I am proud that i can swim 10meters, but i could always put a sign in the bathroom stating this instead.

However, this wanting nice things has now gotten out of control. I went into the kitchen and now i want new matching tea towels, and why stop there, perhaps matching tea caddies and sugar pot, that match the tea towels! I can even acknowledge that there is NO point whatsoever for having a tea caddy, but i want one. I got so carried away in the kitchen that now i have thrown away the kettle and toaster, in order to get matching ones (shiny and black), unfortunately the matching kettle was out of stock and now we have to boil water in a saucepan until it comes in, but when it does, why, you are going to be blown away by the neatness of my kitchen.